


i fantasise when i pray {*HIATUS*}

by bokeae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ALSO SOME HINTS OF ANGST BC I CANT HELP MYSELF, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Angel & Thieves, Angel!Hinata, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn, also aged up theyre like early 20s, also sLIGHT MENTIONS OF CHILD NEGLECT, basically hinatas a fallen angel, hinata is way too innocent and dumb for this world lmao, kageyama is kinda self centred at first, kageyama's fucking emo as shit honestly, ok enough tags i think, thief!kageyama, uhhh angel fic, um oikawa kinda hates kageyama but not really, unnecessary swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-05-06 03:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokeae/pseuds/bokeae
Summary: In which Kageyama Tobio is a bitter thief with only a gun as company and Shouyou is a fallen angel, too reckless for Heaven yet too unruly for Mankind.((alternatively, Tobio wants nothing to do with Shouyou- a being shrouded in trouble and light- but Shouyou is too bright to ignore, too beautiful to abandon.))





	1. damnation

**Author's Note:**

> ive been working on this for way too long its not even half finished but im too impatient to nOT POST FOR LIKE A YEAR I MEAN HONESTLY
> 
> alSO THANK U [@BEN](http://chlorophilester.tumblr.com/) FOR BETAING THIS 30K+ FANFIC U THE BESTtm i appreciate i love u i hope ur having a good day
> 
> this fic has seen all sides of my writers block but uh mainly i wanted to write fluff?? bc usually what i write is angst also this is honestly so slow burn (i think?) so good luck being patient lmao
> 
> also come talk to me on tumblr [@bokeae](http://bokeae.tumblr.com/) just bc

Tobio knocked himself into an elderly businessman, hands flying forward to find balance and maybe something more. The man lost balance for a second too long and he fumbled with his coffee, spilling only some.

“Watch it!”

It was a bitter sentence, fuelled by disgust and a twisted sense of superiority.

Tobio didn’t have much time to react before they were pushed away by the crowds spilling onto the streets. It was barely night, the roads clustered with traffic jams and Tobio had an extra wallet in his hands. He looked at the fraying leather, he fiddled with the library card tucked away, he stared at the notes.

The businessman had too much money.

Tobio huffed, tightening the scarf around his neck. He shuffled forward, nearing a restaurant carrying western themes and when he craned his neck, he could hear piano music from the outside. Standing on the edge of the door, he stared at the woman sitting by the window, on her phone and he winced slightly, he was late- 10 minutes late.

He tried to conjure up an excuse, “sorry, the train was delayed-” but she knew he walked.

“I- uh- my dog died-?” she knew he didn’t have a fucking dog.

“I had an important call,” she knew he didn’t have friends.

He cursed Oikawa-san.

“Tobio-chan is so cute! That is, if you like lonely losers- ha- really, he has such a sad life, dogs hate him. Anyways, Maiko-chan, as promised, he’s all yours.”

“And- and how do you know this guy? Kageyama, was it?” Maiko had asked, red lips tilted down.

“My _adorable_  little neighbour. But, like, I don’t think he’s been laid in, say, ever, and I really do worry about him.”

Maiko had stared at him.

“...He might let you ride his motorcycle.”

Tobio sat down across Maiko.

“Sorry, I just- I-” Tobio looked out the window, trying to cover his panic with a calm expression, “I forgot.”

“Forgot? Forgot you had a date with me?” she snapped, staring at him. Incredulous.

In the beginning, it seemed like a somewhat nice gesture, _wow_ , Oikawa-san must _really_ care about Tobio enough to set him up on a date, huh?

“You- you really didn’t have to do this…” Tobio had stared at the ground, cheeks vermilion.

“Yes I did, you live a lonely life. I feel as if it’s my responsibility as an elder to guide you to greater things.”

“Really?” Tobio had questioned, eyes on the verge of sparkling.

“No. I promised Maiko-chan I would set her up with... _someone-_  if she gave me Ayumu-chan’s number.”

“I don’t want to date anyone right now,” Tobio had said, eyes veering down.

“Too bad, I can’t change my mind therefore you can’t change your mind and I would ask Iwa-chan to go on the date but he actually has a life.”

“I have a life.”

“What are your big plans this Saturday, Tobio-chan? Gonna angrily jerk off to volleyball?”

“N-no! I was gonna, like, um, I-”

“Exactly.”

Oikawa had turned to leave.

“W-why me?”

“Because!” Oikawa had dramatically whipped around, a charming smile plastered onto his lips, “you’re the only loser free this Saturday.”

Maiko-san was still glaring at Tobio, red lips turning down- really down.

Anger, probably.

“Did you order anything?” Tobio asked, sighing because he really didn’t want to be here.

“You were meant to pick me up.”

Tobio’s head snapped up from the menu.

“Was I?”

“Yes, you were. On your motorcycle,” she snapped.

Tobio looked at the menu again, mumbling a lie about how his motorcycle being broken.

She sighed, rolling her eyes.

The date was doomed from the beginning and maybe the both of them saw it coming. She fiddled with her hair, Tobio fiddled with the fraying leather of his new wallet.

Tobio saw no point in staying.

But he did- because he was polite in a weird way and Oikawa might kill him for coming home thirty minutes into a date but he had forgotten that Oikawa really didn’t give a shit.

Tobio sighed.

She tried to make conversation, through clenched teeth.

“So what do you do for a living?” She asked and Tobio pondered, lips tight with concentration.

“I…work with money,” he decided.

She might have perked up at the mention of money but she lost interest soon- money wasn’t worth stale conversations and God, he wasn’t even trying to be friendly at this point.

The restaurant was fairly quiet, but their conversation was silent in the most uncomfortable way possible. The distant sounds of wine glasses clinking against wedding rings was too loud in Tobio’s ears.

He wondered if she was close with Oikawa- is she one of those girls he hooked up with? Why was he even here?

Was she important?

Because her bag was gaping open next to her and he could see her wallet poking out.

He kicked the chair her bag was sitting on, _oh, sorry,_ he muttered, bending down to pick up everything but the wallet. That he slid inside his sleeve.

She was glaring at her drink- her eyebrow twitched.

Tobio stared at her once again and oh- did Oikawa even introduce her?

“What was your name even?”

And that was the last straw, or something, because she was standing up, her dress making things more dramatic.

She yelled.

Caused a scene.

Tobio might have caused a scene back, he forgot what he said, what she said.

But the wind nipped his nose red, his throat was sore and Oikawa was yelling at him through the phone.

 _“What did you even say?”_  Oikawa shrieked and Tobio swore he could hear wailing in the background.

“I dunno, we-“

“She came to my place, _crying._ ”

“Y-yeah.”

“She’s still here by the way, crying. She said she lost her wallet too, now she’s crying even more.”

“I can, um, I can hear.”

Oikawa sighed before laughing, “you have a way with women, you know that?”

“It’s your fault mostly, I didn’t want to go on the date.”

“You could’ve not went. Stood her up.”

“That’s rude.”

“Making her cry isn’t?”

“That was her fault.”

Oikawa barked out a laugh again, borderline genuine, borderline…not, “you have a really shitty personality, you know?”

Tobio didn’t answer.

“Since you’re out get me a pack of tissues.”

It was a command.

“Please? You know I’d do the same for you~”

“You would?” Tobio asked, voice falling soft.

“No but I’d get Iwa-chan to do the same on my behalf.”

Oikawa struck Tobio as odd.

It was weird because they’ve been neighbours for too long and Tobio still doesn’t know the difference between respect and fear.

He looked up to Oikawa, of course he did, Iwaizumi-san told him he picked a shitty role model but whatever, Oikawa was- was perfect.

He had everything, he was good at everything, he _was_  everything.

He had good looks, the ability to smile naturally- _friends_ , he had friends and he was good at _volleyball_.

Iwaizumi-san also told him this was a crush, you have a crush on the asshole, Kageyama. 

Which was dumb because he went on dates like, every fortnight- but they were all Oikawa’s doing and recently Tobio has been finding it hard to say no to Oikawa.

So Tobio stood between two aisles, deciding between 2 big packs of ‘ultra soft’ tissues or six pocket sized packs of tissues. He took both because he didn’t want to disappoint.

He settled them on the counter, fingers curling around the leather bound wallet he snatched. The cashier stared at him, pink bubble stretching into pale white as she blew.

She looked tired and Tobio wondered what it felt like, working past midnight on a Sunday.

She moved to scan the items-

She snapped her gaze up at Tobio.

She struck Tobio as the nervous type, hiding behind a frail wall of intimidation that was really only just made up of bad manners, bubblegum and a resting bitch face.

He glared down.

“Empty out the till.”

Her bubble popped.

He leaned over the counter, fingers digging around the edge.

She cowered away, back hitting the shelf behind her.

But, she did as she was told because she caught sight of the gun and his glare looked more dangerous than the concept of death.

“You gonna stop me?” Tobio hissed because the answer was no, it was always gonna be no and in his opinion, his ‘scary face’ had its perks.

He took some gum too, just because.

Oikawa only opened the door a crack when Tobio came by with the bag of tissues. He grabbed the gum meant for Tobio as well, “why would you get liquorice flavour-?”

Tobio shrugged, _I like liquorice_.

“Anyways! Thanks, now go away, I think I might get laid, like, right now.”

Tobio scrunched up his nose.

“…Is that what the tissues are for?”

“In a way, yes. Should’ve gotten me condoms too, fuck.”

Tobio pretended he didn’t hear anything.

He counted his money after kicking off his shoes and flopping onto his bed.

Tobio could hear Oikawa too- and Maiko-san?

Their bedrooms were clustered next to each other, only separated by a thin wall and Tobio could hear Oikawa’s creaky springs. He wondered if Oikawa keeps the creaky springs just to annoy Tobio. Or Iwaizumi.

Tobio could hear moaning and sobs as well because maybe Maiko-san hadn’t stopped crying. He didn’t feel as bad as he should, she was annoying and her lips were too red. His mother had told him twice before that he was too picky with women, none of them are your type, Tobio, _how exhausting_.

He remembered her asking, “what is it this time?” with exasperation and disappointment coating every syllable.

“She- I don’t know. She had the biggest Adams apple.”

She had sighed once more.

“What about her?”

“Huh.”

“As a person, how was she?”

“…Normal?”

Tobio’s mother had thrown up her hands, having given up already, “what do you know about normal?”

Tobio had bitten back a retort, choosing to exhale sharply and storm away.

He didn’t get along with his mother, neither of them tried and sometimes when he laid in bed, eyes refusing to shut, he would wonder if his mother even _liked_ him.

He thinks it’s karma, to have lost touch with the most important person in his life.

“Where are you getting all this money from?”

“I told you, Kaa-san, I work with money.”

“Oh, honey, I hope you’re not wasting the money your father left you-”

“I’m not!” He yelled, _I’m not like_ _you,_ he thought.

She never asked more about his job, almost like she didn’t want to know.

Though, Tobio was more than grateful.

“You still haven’t thought of redecorating?” she asked as she stood by his doorway, staring down at his choice of black curtains.

“It looks fine.”

“Tobio, there is no colour whatsoever.”

“The kettle is blue.”

“Dark blue- almost black.”

“Still blue.”

She sighed, said something about money, Tobio, you have _money_ , you can afford to decorate.

“Tooru-kun’s apartment is beautiful- the one he shares with Hajime-kun- it’s so welcoming,” she clasped her hands together, smiling.

“What are you doing in Oikawa-san’s apartment?"

“Oh! Tooru-kun invited me in.”

_“When?”_

“Not important-“

Tobio’s mother seemed to have a soft spot for Oikawa. Tobio didn’t mind at first, he himself kind of had a soft spot for Oikawa (but that was respect, he thinks).

But Kageyama-san was baking _Oikawa_ Tobio’s favourite cupcakes and “Tooru-kun, you’re like the son I’ve never had.”

Oikawa looked at Tobio in the fucking eyes before he burst out laughing.

“I’m honoured!”

Tobio nearly crushed his juice box.

But whatever, he snatched half his mother’s money- he thought of it as karma.

Tobio struggled with his noise cancelling headphones, fingers caught in the tangles because it was all quiet now. He heard the last of Maiko-san’s wails and fuck, that was really fast. Tobio let himself laugh even though it came out as a choked snort because he was 23 and he still doesn’t know how to laugh.

Didn’t matter anyways because his fourtieth piggy bank was completely full and there was a thump on the wall because Oikawa _knows_ when he’s being made fun of.

The thief groaned in annoyance because only one side of his earphones was working and the two next door were starting round two.

 

++

 

Shouyou didn’t really know what was going on but he was stuck in a world where the stars were obscured by spiralling buildings and the alley he was trapped in was way too narrow for his wings.

Plus, a stray cat was staring at him with glowing eyes.

It was weird.

But Shouyou waved anyways.

“Hi! Where am I?”

The cat flinched and scurried away because Shouyou, _Shouyou_  was too bright.

The alleyway itself was dark- pitch black, really, the street lamps didn’t dare to shine in that nook.

But Shouyou deemed himself an angel and the alleyway glowed warm gold and cool blue at the same time.

Shouyou was confused- incredibly confused because everything happened in less than a second- or maybe it took years.

Maybe he should’ve seen all this coming.

He had always been a less than average angel, he never listened, got everything wrong because he was clumsy, Shouyou, you’re a _mess_.

‘You don’t really deserve to be an angel,’ it was what everyone was thinking, because he was- he was _Shouyou_.

Sometimes Shouyou wondered if _God_ had made a mistake- he would believe He did- but then he would feel the sting of regret and guilt because _God_ makes no mistakes- this is why he's deemed a bad angel.

Shouyou himself didn’t understand the _Process_ , which was stupid because all angels should know of the _Process_ \- anyways, the point is, he was falling.

He still is falling.

He will fall.

In all tenses.

He wasn’t sure where he was heading, to Hell or to Mankind.

Or maybe nowhere, maybe he would fall forever and forever until he was nothing but a mixture of stardust and sea foam.

He fell on a Rock shivering from seas and oceans.

Amongst Mankind, he couldn’t find the difference between Earth and Hell, but he was sure Hell didn’t have buildings that glowed neon and hummed lowly.

Shouyou pressed a hand against the cold glass door, he pushed and pulled but it stayed locked, the sign that read “CLOSED,” ignored by him and the wind.

Light was completely absent inside but Shouyou was cold and starved. His glow had faded drastically, before he would rival the sun, burn hotter than the rays settling over orange clouds- now he was-

Dull.

Yet it was different on Earth, his touch could still melt the handle of the door, his bare feet were sinking under molten gravel, smoke trailed after his footsteps.

The door fell apart at his touch, the edges glowing red- he roamed in, his glow bringing light to every hidden crevice in the store.

There were aisles upon aisles of…what? Shouyou grabbed a can, stared at it hard.

He glared at the squiggles, the lines and dashes- symbols.

A language he didn’t understand.

But there was a cat on the can- it wasn’t real- a cartoon perhaps? Except Shouyou didn’t understand the concept of cartoons and animation so he glared at the can.

“I do not understand,” he muttered because it was a cat but also…not.

He opened it, maybe it was food? The inside was brown and red, mashed up meat or something, it looked nothing like sweet ambrosia so Shouyou placed it back.

Passing the milk section, he made a face at the cartoon cows decorating the cartons.

He didn’t understand.

Still, he floated in and out, opening things with and without cartoons on the packaging. He ate some noodles- they tasted not nice and they were- they were hard, humans enjoy this?

He passed the honey, he came back because it looked weird.

He brought the nozzle to the tip of his finger and squeezed out a tiny amount- he learnt his lesson after taking a full swig of white vinegar and soy sauce.

However honey-

Honey was _sweet_.

Not as sweet as ambrosia of course, but it was the sweetest thing he has had all day, or second, or year? He didn’t understand how time worked but he didn’t exactly care.

The honey was good. So he took five.

He placed them in a basket he found upside down around the corner and right around that same corner he discovered packets of half opened chocolate. The ice cream he stumbled upon was too cold and he couldn’t feel his head nor his jaw for a couple of minutes. But it was sweet so he had no reason to complain.

Half the aisles were toppled over- thanks to his wings. He tried to fix it, hold the columns crammed neatly with things upright, but half his energy was gone with his glow so he abandoned the shelves.

He felt bad, the place- shop- was incredibly neat before his clumsy arrival.

Now the freeze section blinked rapidly as the top of the muesli bar shelf pushed into it.

(Muesli bars- Shouyou hated them, by the way, they were on the cusp of being sweet but not really).

The whole shop was in ruins, Shouyou apologised ten times over but he found a little red basket and suddenly he found himself cramming honey and everything from the chocolate section inside. He headed to where he presumed the front was- he found more sweet things so he sat cross legged on the floor, sampling everything.

His wings knocked into the cash register every few minutes, the tips hurt a little but Shouyou had no space.

Pain was a strange sensation.

It was something he had never felt before, which drove him into curiosity.

His first shot of pain was when he landed amongst Mankind.

The light that held him upright was crushed immediately, but he didn’t crumble, instead, he wished he did.

It wasn’t light anymore but stiff bones and then he realised that he wasn’t much of an angel anymore.

He felt his bones rearrange themselves in him, he wanted to cry, to scream but he didn’t know how.

Shouyou shook his head and opened up a pack of sour patch kids.

It looked strange, little shapes covered in- what? Sugar?

Shouyou shoved eight of them in his mouth, eagerly.

He spat them out immediately, what the- _what?_

His tongue burned but not really, he could feel his tongue prickle and it took a long time for the flavour to fade away.

But then- then he was hit with a faint sweetness.

Shouyou neatly placed it in another basket, he didn’t want to cause anymore damage.

There was a small packet of brown powder- it smelled sweet but Shouyou only licked a small stripe, in case it was fooling him once more. By the end, he found himself prodding open the ice-cream and using his fingers to brush away the ice crystals hanging around.

He shoved everything in- aside from the sour patch kids and liquorice.

He used his hands to mix it all, it was cold, cold, _cold_ but it didn’t matter because he was hungry and this might be the closest he’s ever going to get to ambrosia- it was disgusting, maybe, to a human, but he wasn’t completely human.

So he licked his fingers until all the m&ms were gone. It was all over his mouth and cheeks- that was a given.

He poured the chocolate bars in, he tried crushing them up- impatiently-

The door opened but Shouyou remained oblivious. There was a quiet tapping of footsteps his way and suddenly someone was leaning over the counter.

“What the-“

Shouyou turned around, gasping because he was caught- caught? Was this a bad thing? Was he even doing a bad thing? Of course it was a bad- it wasn’t his to eat- but what if a kind human had left it out for him-

He turned around, looked at the stranger in the eye and midnight was the last colour he saw before he burned bright. The intruder flinched away, screaming, clutching his eyes.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE ACTUAL- WHAT TH- HOLY SHIT- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!”

Shouyou stood up, wings fluttering nervously because he was freaking out- did he kill someone? Something was his fault- he did something bad?

“I- I am sorry, I- I- I did not mean to-“

“CAN YOU TONE IT THE FUCK DOWN?!!”

Shouyou only burned brighter from panic, he rose a centimetre off the ground, two centimetres- an inch- he was never good at the whole flying ordeal.

“I- this is a low light for me!”

“Low light? Low- dumbass, you’re like the sun!”

“Th-thank you. The sun is…good.”

“It’s a- IT’S A BAD THING, MORON! _Do you want me to be blind?_!”

“No! No, I do not wish harm upon you, I am so sorry!” And Shouyou was wailing, probably, because again, this was all his fault and maybe he’s a worse human.

He looked like a mess with ice-cream and chocolate syrup dripping down his face and hands- there were crumbs melting in his hair- the human would’ve laughed except he was _borderline blind_.

The stranger was bent over, hands clutched over his eyes because all he could see were orange hexagons floating in and out of darkness.

He opened his eyes, everything growing dark- black- shit, he was blind-

He blinked hard- then again, until he was fine and he stood upright, breathing in and out. The light was there- the whole store was shining as if all the lights were switched on.

It took him a while to realise that no, none of the lights were on, it was the guy.

He turned around, eyes trained on the ceiling just so his eyes didn’t meet Shouyou’s directly.

“Am I in trouble?”

Shouyou shrunk in his spot.

“No you- _turn the light off for fuck’s sake_!”

“I cannot! And please do not swear!”

“What do you mean you ‘cannot'?!”

“I cannot. I- it is me.”

“What.”

“I am the light.”

_“What.”_

He sneaked a glance, it was exactly like staring at the sun except not- not as bright because the stranger could make out a short silhouette, a crown of flames and wide, wide eyes.

This- this _thing_  was _beautiful_.

But the stranger hated Shouyou, for nearly blinding him-

He looked away but that’s when the fact Shouyou had _wings_  actually processed in his head. He snapped his head back, his eyes burned but the guy had _wings_.

“ _What are you?_ ”

“An angel.”

The stranger repeated the statement.

“An- you’re-“

It was quiet.

The ice-cream dripped down from Shouyou’s fingertips.

But it was loud again because the stranger was screaming, an angel? _An angel?_   _What the fuck?_  But there was no reason to not believe because this- this _thing_  was the brightest thing he has ever seen and he had _wings_.

The stranger looked around, at the store- at the aisles crashing over each other like dominoes. There was a trail of vanilla and strawberry ice cream along with sprinkles.

He had questions, too many questions-

“Who are you?” Shouyou asked because he, too, had many questions.

“I-“ He wondered if it was alright, telling an angel his name, “wouldn’t- wouldn’t you know? You’re like, an angel, shouldn’t you-“

He closed his eyes and he could still see Shouyou, as if he was burning through. He looked curious yet panicked-

“Kageyama.”

“Kageyama,” Shouyou repeated, breathlessly, “I am-“

There were sirens, they followed Tobio endlessly.

It was easy hiding in the shadows, slipping away into the dark with only a bag of cash and maybe some gum if he was feeling lucky but Shouyou stood next to him, fingers shaking and light overlapping the darkest of shadows.

It looked worse, because from the windows, one could see the aisles toppling over each other and the burn mark on the door was clear- the sides were still glowing orange.

Which was why Tobio was there, really.

He wanted to rob a store, he flipped his gun around, feeling invincible.

Tobio didn’t catch it properly when it came back down, he fumbled around, letting go of the bag he had in order to catch the black gun- the two objects fell to the ground.

He smelled burning first, then he saw the door- the slide-in doors were closed, of course, it was the dead of night- Tobio was aiming for the little convenience store across the road- it was open 24 hours.

But this store- there was a gaping hole, half melted.

And the light- he could see the shelves thrown about almost recklessly.

It made him curious.

So he ducked inside through the hole, avoiding the edges that glowed tangerine.

Tobio should’ve bolted, left the angel to explain himself to the police- maybe they would take him somewhere to experiment on him, torture him, keep him imprisoned-

The glow was dimmer, maybe because a calm had fallen upon them, ironically- didn’t angels know what the sirens meant? Tobio studied the angel, he should leave, the police might get the wrong idea-

But leaving a helpless angel- _angel_ \- a being more important than _humans_ \- would he be damned in the next life? In the life after?

Is abandoning an angel the biggest sin he could commit?

He found the idea laughable: a thief worrying about sinning-

But he didn’t want to take his chances.

“Come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“I dunno, somewhere. Just come.”

The angel was too trusting but Shouyou followed, feet sometimes barely brushing the floor. He offered a hand to hold but Tobio wrinkled his nose. It was still covered in ice-cream and honey.

His whole face was sticky- it was gross to look at, he had chocolate flakes stuck under his eye, there was whipped cream on the tip of his nose and syrup trailing down down his neck and staining his pristine white robe, oh God, this angel was a mess.

He wanted to say it out loud, because he had no filter, really, but he thought again, he thought about sinning, about Hell and being damned forever until never.

He sat on his motorbike.

“Hop on behind me.”

“Hop…?”

The sirens were louder.

“Hurry up!”

Shouyou shakily hopped up to the bike and situated himself directly behind Tobio. His sugar covered front was pressed flush against Tobio’s black jacket and Tobio exhaled sharply.

Tobio rode on forward and Shouyou squealed, wrapping his arms around Tobio’s waist because he’s going to fall, he’s going to-

Tobio was groaning angrily because the front of his new jacket was glistening with stickiness- though he tried to not mind as much, his jacket already had lint sticking to it

But- he hated still hated this.

He should’ve left the angel.

But he rode forward because the idea of not helping didn’t exactly sit well with him.

Shouyou learned how to scream.

Tobio spared a glance behind, he couldn’t hear the sirens, maybe they were investigating the burn marks and fallen dominoes. He spared a glance at Shouyou, wishing he hadn't a second later because he was burning, burning, _burning_.

He stared forward because he had learnt his lesson all too well.

The runaway thief wondered how they looked from the streets, a black motorcycle whizzing past the dark streets with the sun on its tail. He wondered if Shouyou had left anyone else blind.

Tobio liked to plan things through, everything followed a something, he had three calendars in his unit, one on his fridge, one on resting on the table between his sofa and TV and the other next to his bed, so he could see it first thing in the morning.

They were less dates and more scribbles of plans.

He was expecting to rob a convenience store on 10:57pm exactly, that plan never strayed- he wondered if the police would ever catch on and wait for him beforehand but he was only a speck of crime amongst murderers and the yakuza.

He was glad he wasn’t as important.

(However, he’s seen himself on the news a couple of times, riding through abandoned roads, cash trailing after him with the police, it made his heart swell with both panic and pride).

But an angel- a clumsy angel with jam in his hair- this could ruin everything.

Maybe he would have to delay his robbery by a minute, maybe he wouldn’t be able to stop by Oikawa’s apartment every 4pm for absolutely no reason, maybe he wouldn’t be able to catch that weird drama his mother liked every 7pm sharp.

This was a bad idea.

And he wondered, what he was going to do with Shouyou when he actually got back to his place- should he take Shouyou to his place?

Tobio was maybe not the smartest person, but he knew the key to intimidation and what makes a man shake with fear, he knows how to roll coins around his knuckles and he knows that a victim would never bring themselves to tell the police of a robbery after Tobio was done with them.

But an angel-

He didn’t know what to do with him.

Tobio stopped somewhere behind his apartment.

He got off and Shouyou followed, confused, “what is wrong, Kageyama?”

“You- I don’t know what to do with you,” Tobio brushed at his jacket- his hands came off sticky. He stared up at the sky, to avoid the light.

“Please let me stay with you!” Shouyou wailed after two beats of silence.

Tobio opened his mouth to say-

“Please, _please_ , please, please, _please,_ please, _please, please, please, please, please, pleasepleasepLEASE_ -“

“Oh my God! Stop!”

“You will go to Heaven if you let me stay with you!”

Tobio halted.

“What?”

“I said you will go to Heav-“

“No I heard you- just- so I get a free ticket to Heaven?”

“I- yes, yes.”

“What if I’m a bad person?”

“You cannot be that bad! You just saved me from that screeching nois- the sirens! And if you let me stay with you- for a night- one night- you will be the best person within Mankind!”

“So…all my sins would…”

“Heaven will turn a blind eye!”

It was a good deal, a great deal, Tobio could- literally- commit any sin and he would still end up in Heaven.

“Sure ok, yeah, one night.”

“One night.”

Shouyou might’ve been- well, he wasn’t _lying_ \- but it was a promise he is fated to keep. He exhaled, berating himself lightly for making impulsive oaths because he didn’t exactly have control over who went to Heaven or Hell- he never had control over that- but Tobio was letting him stay and who knows, maybe he might end up in Heaven.

Shouyou prayed Tobio was free of sin.

(Then he wondered if his prayers counted because he was no longer bound to Heaven).

Tobio told him to wash up first, you’re all gross.

Shouyou asked him what gross meant- fat did you mean? Are you saying I look fat? It’s only the light-

Tobio wanted to rip out his hair.

He directed Shouyou to the bathroom, “here, wash your face and hands.”

Shouyou couldn’t see any water- except the water in the porcelain bowl in the corner, next to rolls of toilet paper. He went to dip his hands there before Tobio was screaming, no, don’t put your hands there, ever, oh my God-

Tobio turned the tap on, water flowed down and Shouyou stared, mesmerised.

“Woah! That- that is so- so- woah! Is this magic? How did you do that?”

“I…turned the tap on? Hurry up, put your hands in, don’t waste water.”

“Where is the water coming from? I do not understand.”

“Put your goddamn hands in!”

Shouyou followed his instructions with a yelp.

Tobio tried to squeeze some hand soap in but Shouyou kept moving, “what is that? What does it say? It smells nice!”

The floor was completely wet by the end, Shouyou didn’t understand how he would wash his face so he tried to stick his head under the tap.

His glow was growing dimmer and dimmer by the minute.

Tobio sighed before wiping his face with a wet rag.

“You’re very stupid.”

“That is not very nice, Kageyama. How unkind.”

“Yeah, well, I’m letting you stay here so you should shut your mouth.”

Tobio didn’t have a spare futon, mainly because he never had guests who were willing to stay over. His mother always left before night fell. He considered getting one from Oikawa- but that would raise too many questions, what for, Tobio-chan? do you have a lady over? Stupid, you should sleep in the same bed, don’t cockblock yourself-

He stared at Shouyou, because now he could without hurting his eyes.

He looked like the sun midst a sunset- where the lights mellowed into red and one could see the sun’s silhouette clearly without their eyes burning.

He was more beautiful than what Tobio remembered, because before his aureate eyes were shielded by a light too powerful. His hair was a bright orange, nearing red, the colour Kageyama disliked the most but now he couldn’t bring himself to hate the bright hue. His skin was porcelain- or maybe that was still the glow? But his cheeks had rouge splattered on and maybe Tobio had been staring for too long because Shouyou was tilting his head to the side, asking if he was ok.

Tobio realised his mouth was parted so he licked his lips, and blinked his drying eyes. He coughed lightly, to cover up his blush.

“You’re very small.”

The angel looked up at him.

“You are very rude.”

He seemed a little frustrated so Tobio let it go, whatever, let him be short.

“You can sleep on the couch, I guess you fit,” Kageyama shrugged.

“Sleep? Why would I do that?”

“Do…angels not sleep?”

“No.”

“So…what are you going to do for-“ Kageyama checked his watch, “5 hours?”

“I will do what you are doing for 5 hours.”

“I’ll be sleeping.”

“Oh. How long is five hours?”

“I- like-“ Tobio stuttered, how should he explain time? “Until the sun comes up.”

“Oh! Alright.”

“You…stay there, ok? Don’t leave the couch.”

“What is a couch?”

“What you’re sitting on.”

“Alright.”

“Listen, I have-“ Tobio sighed again, “I have a lot of questions about- about all this but I’m tired, so like- I dunno, you better answer them tomorrow.”

“Alright. I have questions too.”

Shouyou, as stated before, was bad at listening.

He leaned over Tobio’s sleeping form, breathing loudly because he still didn’t know how to do things quietly. When Tobio woke up, he screamed and maybe butted heads with Shouyou because he was way too close.

“WHAT THE FUCK- WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”

“DO NOT CURSE!”

“FUCK YOU, I’LL FUCKING CURSE IF I WANT TO.”

“YOU SHOULD NOT!”

Tobio breathed heavily, this was annoying, what time was it? He rubbed the redness on his forehead.

“What are you doing here? I told you stay on the couch.”

“5 hours is actually very long. And I was curious to know how humans sleep. I was told humans were relaxed when they slept however you still look very unhappy and tense.”

“Stop talking.”

“You still look very unhappy.”

“It’s because you’re talking.”

“Very well.”

Shouyou tried to stay quiet.

“What is that?” Shouyou pointed at Tobio’s alarm clock.

“It’s a clock.”

“You use clocks for…time?”

“Please shut up.”

“Time is weird, what is a minute? What is the difference between an hour and second? A millimetre?”

“A millimetre has nothing to do with time.”

“What is a millimetre? What is it related to? What is a milli? A metre?”

“If you don’t let me sleep I will actually kick you out.”

“But you already slept!”

“I need more sleep!”

“How do you know?!”

“I just do! Go away!”

“I do not want to!”

“Then turn away!”

“I can do that, alright!”

Tobio rubbed his face, already irritated.

“For God’s sake…”

“You are still awake-“

_“Zip it.”_

Shouyou was jostling him awake an hour after.

_“What?”_

“The sun! The sun has arrived, awaken!”

Tobio rolled around, stuffing his face in his pillow.

“I’m gonna strangle you.”

“Please do not. Are you going to awaken?”

“No. No I’m not gonna ‘awaken’. Leave me alone.”

“For how long?”

“Eight hours.”

“That’s too long!”

Tobio’s alarm beeped at 9 am and Shouyou screamed again. He threw the clock off the bedside table, into the wall.

 _“Are you kidding me?”_  Tobio seethed, eyes bloodshot.

“It was the screeching from last night- remember-“

“Those are _sirens_ ” Tobio spat bitterly because it was too early for this and he was kind of hoping for this all to be a weird nightmare, “This is an alarm.”

“What is the difference?”

“Sirens mean get the hell out of there,” Tobio explained, voice groggy and mind groggy- he was sure he was explaining things wrong, “alarm means get up from bed.”

“Ohhhh-“

“Now I have to get a new alarm clock, thanks a lot.”

“You are welcome! You should not be thanking me, I broke it, I am sorry. I will fix it.”

Tobio watched from the edge of the bed as Shouyou crouched down and tried to put together shattered plastic.

“Good luck with that,” Tobio snorted.

But he looked at Shouyou again, “your light is gone.”

“Of course, I am becoming less of an angel, why would I glow?”

“Wait, what?”

Shouyou stared up, “I was banished.”

_“Why?”_

“I’m not a good angel.”

“What did you do?” Tobio sat up, interested.

“I am not exactly sure. It is because there was _Doubt_ in me and _Doubtful_ angels do not have the right to be angels.”

“So…what are you then? You can’t be human, you have like- like, wings-“

Shouyou stared at him for a while, “I do not understand, they are not ‘like’ wings, they _are_  wings.”

“That- that’s not what I meant.”

“They will go away.”

“Are you gonna die one day?” Tobio asked.

“That is least likely.”

“If you do, would you end up in Heaven?”

“I am not invited back. I cannot set foot- or wing- in Heaven ever again. In this life nor the next.”

“What about Hell?”

“There is no reason for me to go to Hell, I have not committed a single sin.”

“You stole shit.”

“Excuse me? And please do not cur-”

“The chocolate and ice-cream. They weren’t yours to eat, you know?”

Shouyou’s eyes widened, almost comically.

“I- I am a _thief_.”

Tobio snorted, cracking his bones before getting up, “yeah, basically.”

Shouyou was writhing on the floor with regret and guilt, he was a _thie-_

“Relax, you didn’t know- plus, all your good outweighs your bad or something, right?”

“I am not worried about going to Hell, an angel of any kind will never experience the trauma Hell contains.”

“You’re not an angel anymore- I guess.”

“Of any kind. I was once an angel.”

“So you’re safe from Hell. What the fuck are you doing worrying about stealing? You’re not even allowed to go to Hell.”

“I have morals!”

Tobio sighed.

“So you can’t get to Hell or Heaven. Purgatory-?“

“I do not need to be cleansed.”

“Well what happens to you then?”

“I cease to exist after I find purpose.”

Tobio raised an eyebrow.

“You need to find purpose here?”

“A difficult task for a former angel. I know nothing of Earth, finding a purpose is near impossible.”

“You…you want to not exist?”

“I do not wish to exist on Earth.” Shouyou said.

“You’re practically immortal! Why wouldn’t you want to live here forever, you stupid moron?!”

“Ex- _excuse me_?!”

_“Well?”_

“Staying on Earth is exhausting already! What will I do after I leave here? Roam around the streets? Where will I get ambrosia? Where will I sleep? I’m cursed to starve and be homeless beyond eternity.”

Tobio stared at his hands, he had a point.

“Even if someone does provide me with shelter, they will leave eventually- perhaps they will die and it will be cold once more,” Shouyou explained, huffing.

“If I cease to exist, I will be…at peace.”

“Wow.”

Shouyou sighed, thoughtfully.

“What would happen if someone stabbed you?”

“Do not stab me.”

“No I mean, would you ‘cease to exist’?”

“I have not found purpose yet.”

“You’re invincible.”

“If you put it that way. Yes.”

“Holy shit.”

“I do not understand.”

Again Tobio sighed.

Tobio offered some clothes, what, are you going to wear a damn robe forever? His clothes were way too big on Shouyou, not that he minded. However, his wings were in the way of the back of his shirt, his shirt didn’t go down at all, instead it hung awkwardly, bundled up around where his wings met his shoulder blades. Tobio considered cutting holes but that’s his shirt and he was not going to ruin it for some dumb angel.

“Food, um, do angels eat- well, you were eating sweet shit last time so I guess.”

Tobio offered toast, Shouyou wrinkled up his nose.

“It is not sweet enough.”

Shouyou ended up sitting on a stool, ice cream on the tip of his nose again.

Tobio sigh-

“Is that necessary for humans?” Shouyou asked.

“What.”

“That thing you do. When you exhale really loudly.”

“What? Breathing? Of course it’s necessary, you die if you don’t fucking breathe-“

Shouyou tapped the tip of Tobio’s nose with his sticky finger.

“Refrain from cursing!”

Tobio rubbed at his nose.

Tobio grunted and shovelled cereal into his mouth.

“Whatever, have you met God?”

“I have, in my soul.”

“But what about, y’know, physically?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like? I dunno, have you ever talked to him?”

“In my soul-“

“No, not in your soul, I mean, in the flesh.”

“…In the flesh…?”

Shouyou looked at his hands and arms.

“I? Huh?”

“Nevermind, you’re too stupid for this.”

“How- how dare-! You are so incredibly un-nice!”

“Un-nice,”Tobio deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes.

He packed Shouyou a small bag filled with Tobio’s smallest shirts and pants. The thief shoved in anything sweet he could find in his pantry and fridge- there wasn’t much, some old liquorice and expired cakes.

Shouyou followed Tobio out into the hall.

“Where are we going?”

“You’re leaving, remember?”

“O-oh.”

Tobio looked at him and fuck-

That’s when he remembered the wings.

They were drooping down, as if sad.

“Shit.”

“Do not be vulgar.”

“Your wings.”

Shouyou turned around to look at them.

“Yes?”

“You can’t go out in public with fucking wings.”

Shouyou bristled at the curse, like always.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not normal? And very inconvenient? You’ve knocked over literally everything on my desk with your stupid wings.”

“Hey!” His wings bristled too, they stood upright, “they are not- not- st- _stupid!”_

“They are! You can’t even use them!”

“I can! I ca-“ his wings flapped, he lifted himself up, grinning but the lightbulb was on the ground now, shattered.

Shouyou stumbled forward, startled.

“Oh- _oh no_ ,” he gasped, hands covering his mouth and tears already-

“Don- don’t fucking cry over this, don’t be a moro-“

“What the fuck is going on here?”

It was Oikawa. He closed the door behind him and studied the situation with confusion.

“O-Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa looked at Tobio, then at Shouyou, then at the lightbulb- then back at Shouyou.

His eyes were growing wider by the second, he opened his mouth, closing them slightly, only for his mouth to hang back open.

“An angel,” he said when he found his voice, “an- there’s an- Iwa-chan, Iwaizumi- there’s an angel.”

He waved his arm at the door, as if trying to beckon his roommate, except the door was closed and his mouth was still hanging wide open. Tobio floundered a little too, because he knows, shit, Oikawa-san _knows_. Shouyou looked up at Tobio, as if asking if it was ok for Oikawa to know, this was a strange secret after all.

“Costume,” Tobio bit out, his mind miles away from his body, “it’s all jus- it’s a costume.”

“Are you real?” Oikawa asked, barely acknowledging Tobio.

Shouyou laughed a little and Oikawa’s knees were shaking.

Tobio hid his trembling hand behind his back because holy shit, his laugh was music to his ears-

“I think so.”

“You- you’re _glowing_.” Oikawa breathed.

Tobio’s eyes snapped down to Shouyou- he wasn’t glowing as much- he didn’t rival the sun anymore.

However, to a human, he was _alight_.

Iwaizumi was there now, what the fuck are you doing on the floor, Shitty-kawa, then he locked eyes with Shouyou.

Tobio groaned because _no one was supposed to freaking know_.

Tobio repeated it again and again, it’s just a costume guys, he’s not a real angel.

Shouyou made a noise.

“That is a lie-“

“It’s a costume,” Tobio continued on.

Tobio looked at him with pleading eyes, this was meant to be a secret goddammit.

Shouyou didn’t know what a costume was but he found himself following Tobio’s example.

“It’s only a costume!”

Oikawa got up, using Iwaizumi for support.

“Iwa-chan, are you seeing this? are you- he- Iwa-chan-“

“What the fuck-“

“Don’t swear in its presence, it’s unholy.”

“Oikawa, it’s so beautiful.”

“Iwa-chan, that’s kinda gay.”

“This is an exception.”

Shouyou shared a glance with Tobio.

“It’s with Tobio-chan, it’s here to cleanse his dirty soul-“

“Shut the fuck up.”

The spell- whatever that was- it was broken now and Iwaizumi was apologising to Tobio and oh, Kageyama, didn’t see you there, sorry.

“This is a costume,” Tobio replied, weakly.

“We’re not stupid, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa snapped and Tobio held his breath, “of course it’s a costume, what, you think we’re holy and blessed enough to meet an actual angel? Plus, you’re going to Hell, anyways-”

“Do not say such horrid things!” Shouyou interrupted, “you do not know of such thing.”

Oikawa’s eyes widened, he apologised, his eyes widened again because he just apologised to Tobio via Shouyou or something.

“Ignore him,” Iwaizumi sighed, “your name is…?”

Tobio went to introduce him,

“Shouyou,” they all said in delayed unison.

All three of them stared at Shouyou.

Tobio glared, deep in thought because Shouyou had never really introduced himself- but he knew, Iwaizumi knew too and so did Oikawa, what the-

“Fuck, what the fuck? That’s freaky, do I know you? Who are you?” Oikawa questioned.

“Please do not swear-“

“Tobio-chan, who is he?”

Their attention was all pinpointed on Tobio.

“You’ve met him before, at- at a party,” Tobio excused.

“What party?”

“I dunno, you were all drunk. And stuff.”

He fiddled with his fingers and Oikawa scrutinised him. It was either believe the dumbest sounding lie ever uttered or believe this being was a real _angel_.

“Oh. Oh yeah,” Oikawa laughed, confusion clearing in his eyes, "I’m such an idiot how could I forget someone like you?” Oikawa was smiling at Shouyou now, the kind of smile he saved for girls at the local bar.

Shouyou beamed, clearly not understanding the situation.

“Dude, are you hitting on him?” Iwaizumi asked.

“It’s not gay, just like you said!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “so, you’re friends with Kageyama, huh?”

“Very bad taste in friends,” Oikawa stage whispered and Iwaizumi kicked his shin.

“Yes!” Shouyou said, delighted, “Friends! We are friends.”

Oikawa studied him in the background as Iwaizumi talked.

He asked about the lightbulb, you’re gonna have to pay for it, Kageyama.

Tobio nodded, he said it was Shouyou’s fault, his wings got in the way.

“We’re going to a costume party,” Tobio explained at one point.

“What are you going as?” Oikawa sneered, looking Tobio up and down.

Tobio gulped, “um, myself.”

Oikawa snorted, “of course, how boring.”

Iwaizumi excused Oikawa, “we’ll be off now, I think we’re late to the movies now- um, bye Kageyama and er…Shouyou.”

Tobio stayed rooted to the spot.

He could hear Oikawa asking Iwaizumi if Tobio-chan bribed Shouyou to be his friend or something. He heard Oikawa scream out in pain half a second later.

 

(“He’s a little weird, isn’t he?” Oikawa commented, wrinkling his nose as he pulled down his seatbelt.

Iwaizumi tapped the steering wheel, “Shouyou? Yeah, there’s something kinda…off about him.”

“You think he’s really an angel?”

Oikawa stared at him, eyes forgetting to blink.

He was _serious_.

Iwaizumi snorted in his face, laughed uncontrollably at Oikawa’s slightly offended gaze, “no way, stupid, what would an angel be doing here in our shitty building specifically? And I’m pretty sure angels have better things to do than, y’know, hang around _Kageyama_ , no offense to him. Shouyou is just one of those really nice looking people. Kinda like Akaashi- you know the guy in your class? But…more. Plus, he was probably wearing makeup for his costume.”

“Oh yeah. True.”

It was quiet for a while, the radio played the latest hits.

“He’s not normal, that Shouyou,” Oikawa commented again.

“Don’t say stuff like that.”

“He’s not even here but did you see how excited he was at the idea of being friends with Tobio-chan? _Tobio-chan?_ That’s not normal, he’s not normal, no one’s excited about being friends with _Tobio-chan."_

“Get out of the car.”

“Why?”

“I’m gonna run you over.”)

 

Tobio dragged Shouyou back into the apartment before the angel could start wailing about the broken lightbulb. Or ask dumb questions.

Tobio sat on the couch, face resting in his hands and he sighed again. Shouyou sat on the floor, balanced on his knees as he craned his neck to get a good view of Tobio’s face.

“Who were they? They swore a lot, they really should not, they knew I was an angel-“

“They shouldn’t,” Tobio interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“They shouldn’t know, no one should know, ok? It’s a secret, it has to be a secret,” Tobio said with such desperation that Shouyou had to nod.

“Wh- what if they ask? Like they did.”

“Tell them- tell them it’s makeup. Costume or something. It’s fake.”

“But it is not.”

“They don’t know that.”

“But-“ Shouyou placed his hands on Tobio’s knees, “but that’s a _lie_.”

“Then lie!”

“I cannot!”

“Why not?!”

“Why do I even have to lie? What is the worst that could happen if they knew?”

They were both yelling now.

“They could tell someone, like, the government, and then they’ll take you away, probably, and then they might make you tell them the secrets. Or maybe they'll torture you. Or maybe they’ll do experiments on you for science. Look, things could happen, if people know then it’ll just be hard for you to live here until you find your purpose or whatever.”

Tobio paused- what the government did to Shouyou was none of his business, anyway, who was he to hold Shouyou back from reality? He could let Shouyou go, fend for himself against a society too advanced for his wings.

Still, he couldn't help but feel guilt as red as sin at the mere idea of letting Shouyou out. If he was to be taken, held hostage, tortured, it was Tobio's fault, in some ways.

Shouyou’s eyes were glittering unnaturally.

“I have to lie.”

“If people ask. They might not, so chill the fuck out.”

“Stop cursing! You are worse than a seaman!”

“A- a _what?_ ”

“It is that Earth saying. Seamen have bad mouths.”

“Semen? Wait what?” Tobio’s eyes widened.

“Maybe I got the saying wrong. The men who are at sea.”

“Men at sea- I- _oh_ \- oh, I thought, um, you meant something else. You mean sailor.”

“You are worse than a sailor.”

“Thanks,” Tobio rolled his eyes.

“That was not a compliment, do not thank me.”

Tobio sighed once again.

“That, you keep doing _that_. Breathing out very loudly.”

“I’m sighing.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m annoyed.”

“Why?”

Tobio wanted to kill him.

“Because of you and anyways, we’re getting off topic, um, you can’t go out now, 'cuz of your wings. Dead giveaway.”

“‘Cuz?’”

“Because.”

“Why do humans do that? They shorten words. ‘I’m’, ‘you’re’, ‘can’t.’”

“It’s just easier.”

“‘It’s.’"

_Annoying._

“So if I cannot leave, does that mean I can st’ere?”

“What?”

“I shortened the words!”

“You chose the wrong words to shorten, what did you mean?”

“Can I stay here? And wrong words? Are there specific words I can and cannot shorten?”

“Yeah, guess you kinda have to stay. Until your wings are gone, ok? And you’re less glowy-“

Shouyou flew on him- Tobio wasn’t exactly sure what happened but Shouyou was hugging him.  He wrapped his arms tightly around him, his nose nestled in the crook of his neck. His wings wrapped themselves around Tobio and he was enveloped in darkness.

Except- it wasn’t really darkness- because he was still glowing.

Tobio’s heart stuttered and Shouyou giggled, “thank you, thank you, thank you so much! For letting me stay in your home.”

Shouyou smelled-

Like the sunset and sunrise clashing together, like clouds set ablaze with red and orange, like flyaway embers and flames crackling on mahogany.

Weird.

“You- you can let go now,” Tobio said because it’s been a solid minute.

Shouyou told him it was a hug, it’s what humans do to show affection and gratitude, right?

Tobio pushed him off when he realised that Shouyou was residing on his damn lap.

Tobio stayed on the couch for a few hours after, he thought about Oikawa and Iwaizumi, they were not stupid- actually, they were incredibly smart and maybe they were still thinking about this encounter, analysing it-

Because it was weird, Shouyou was weird, his glow was weird, his face was weird. The whole situation was weird. The prospect of angels appearing right now out of the goddamn blue-

Was weird.

So he thought about it, on the couch, he wondered how he could make the situation less…weird.

He went through their possible responses: “What is Shouyou really, Tobio-chan?”

“How do I know him if I’ve never met him, I’ve never been that drunk that I’d forget-“

(That was a lie, a big lie, because Oikawa had been so drunk that he had kissed Tobio- he doesn’t remember, it’s one of those secrets Tobio is planning on taking to the grave with him).

“Kageyama, why does he _glow_?”

They didn’t say anything about it when they came back.

Oikawa looked at Shouyou’s wings and then at him, he asked if the wings were comfortable, isn’t your back aching, Shou-chan? How do you put it on?

Iwaizumi nodded at Tobio, as a greeting and that was it, really.

-Oikawa also asked if he could keep Shouyou, he’s so tiny and pure, gah, I just want to squish him but in a nice way. Iwaizumi told him that was kidnapping and is, in fact, frowned upon. Oikawa squished his cheeks anyways, ruffled his hair too, said he was the most beautiful being he has ever met. Shouyou touched his chest, where his heart was.

“You have a kind soul.”

Iwaizumi snorted, “wow.”

He had to drag Oikawa away.

“Oikawa-san,” Shouyou commented as Tobio closed the door, “is very nice."

“Yeah, to you.”

“However, he is not as kind to you. Why is that?”

His wings twitched and fluttered lightly on his back. Tobio moved the coffee table out of the way.

“Dunno. That’s just how he is.”

“ _Why?_  Does he dislike you? You are so generous.”

“Is that so?” Tobio asked, moving to the kitchen.

“Yes! You are letting me stay here. You are very kind. Even though you swear a lot.”

Tobio snorted, “…thanks, I guess.”

Shouyou made a pleased hum.

Tobio cut up some clothes for Shouyou. He ripped in long slits on the back. He shoved it on Shouyou, who yelped slightly. The tips of the wings fit in well, until they grew bigger by the middle and yes, it was stuck. He tried with bigger shirts, but they all ended up stuck- he tried to squeeze his wings through but Shouyou was yelling out in pain and Tobio was apologising.

“What is the big deal? Do I need to wear clothes?”

“ _Yes._ It’s cold, aren’t you cold?”

“Not really.”

Tobio wrapped a blanket around him and cut slits on the back- his wings fit in, only barely.

“This feels unnecessary.”

“Do you not wear clothes in Heaven?”

“Clothes are not needed.”

“Yeah well, you’re not in Heaven anymore, are you. You need clothes, I hate your wings.”

Shouyou gasped, eyes widening, eyebrows arched down.

“That was- ex- _excuse me?_  You-“ Shouyou floundered for words, his cheeks were coloured rouge.

Tobio remembered that he was a Dumb Angel that didn’t understand the importance of tone and exaggerations.

“I- I was just- oh my God-“

“Do you really hate my wings?”

His wings drooped down with his expression and Tobio clawed at his face.

“ _No_ , I was just- just _exaggerating_  my annoyance.”

He gave up with the whole blanket thing when Shouyou declared it was way too hot, please take it off. So he prowled around shirtless, Tobio tried not to stare. But it was hard- a shirtless _angel_  who was so, so pretty and ugh, Tobio could feel his brain melting.

It was night now, Tobio was wiping at Shouyou’s chest with a rag because he spilled syrup all over himself at dinner. He checked all three of his calendars and wondered how he was going to get work done.

10:57 passed minutes ago- so no convenience store raids for tonight.

He wondered if he was ever going to be able to burgle- ever- shit, would he have to get an actual job or something, nothing has even started and Shouyou was already fucking up his life.

He thought about it again, wondered if he could let Shouyou stay here alone- stealing doesn’t take long anyways-

He looked over at Shouyou who was screeching at the television set, there are people in there, Kageyama! They’re stuck! We have to help them-

Then he was prodding hard at the TV, it hit the wall behind it and blanked out and no, Tobio couldn’t risk leaving this dumbass alone.

So he sighed, finally understanding what it meant to be blessed with a curse.

 

 


	2. fixation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! uh i kinda lost motivation for this and I'm a little slightly confused on how to continue but that's fine I'll lazily find a way.

See, Tobio hated physical contact.

Couldn’t really remember the last time his mother had pinched his cheeks in delight as he swatted her hand away.

Now they were crowned with red acrylics, every touch leaving white marks.

His mother stopped hugging him when he was 7, stopped ruffling his hair when he was barely 9.

Sometimes his mother would mention his father, because damn it Tobio, he didn’t die for you to waste your life like this- she would use his car crash as an excuse to yell at him, blame him, make him feel sorry for himself-

Oikawa would occasionally stare with a look of sympathy whenever his mother mentioned Tobio’s father while he handed out cookies during her monthly visits.

Sympathy: it felt unnatural, his mother basked in it yet he found it off-putting, found Oikawa-san’s guilty smiles and hesitant shoulder pats incredibly uncomfortable.

He’d cringe away, touches driven from pity did not settle well with him.

Shouyou, however, _craved_  physical contact.

Tobio would wake up with Shouyou sitting on top of him, straddling him with his face way too close because he liked watching him sleep.

Tobio told him he was being creepy, “what the fuck, that’s weir- AND YOU’RE STILL ON ME! GET OFF!”

His mornings were suffocating because Shouyou didn’t understand how lungs worked, so he would sit on Tobio’s chest, knees jutting into his collarbones until Tobio was choking in his sleep.

Tobio told him to knock it off, _don’t sit on me when I sleep_ \- so Shouyou would sit next to him, knees prodding him in the ribs because he liked being close.

During a night swept with fog and thunder, Shouyou had crawled under the blankets to hide between Tobio’s thighs.

He deemed it a safe spot, he couldn’t smell the crackle of lightning in the air- he had started fidgeting and then the fidgeting had led to flailing amidst the sweltering heat because he can’t _breathe!_   _he can’t breathe!_

Tobio had jolted up straight, cheeks flushed as he ripped the blankets off to drag Shouyou up to his chest, hands squishing his cheeks to check if he was still alive.

“What- wha- the hell- what the hell were you doing down there? Who told you to go there? What were you _thinking?”_ Tobio had asked, voice caught between yelling and stuttering-- he could feel his thighs warming up.

Shouyou had rested his head on his chest, breaths drawn out, hair damp with sweat and cheeks a blaze of vermillion.

He had whined in reply.

Tobio had told him to get off again, go back to the damn couch.

He had folded his wings against his back and pretended he couldn't hear.

His eyes were screwed shut and his face was shoved into the crook of Tobio’s neck- it was bullshit, the situation was all bullshit because the damn angel didn’t need sleep, didn’t even know _how_  to sleep.

Tobio had snorted because it was funny how Shouyou had thought he had him fooled.

Still, he had let the angel believe his obvious lie for the rest of the night.

When Shouyou wasn’t climbing on him midst his slumber, he was finding refuge on his lap or back.

Tobio found it annoying, aggravating, _infuriating_  and he found himself wondering what happened to the concept of personal space.

It was barely Tuesday and Tobio had locked himself in his room, gun snug in his palm.

He could hear the distant flapping of overgrown wings and lamps falling over each other.

Tobio clenched his gun- mostly out of of the familiarity.

He wasn’t planning on using it now, hasn’t used it since he was 18, shooting at the ceiling of a store just to drive fear into the cashier.

He twirled it around his palm. He looked at one of his calendars- he had to cross out almost everything planned.

He scribbled out convenience stores from convenient areas, he crossed out the designated time he had set for himself, he ripped out most of December.

Tobio leaned back against the door, he was running out of confectioneries and he had to buy an alarm clock.

He thought about running out, leaving Shouyou alone in his apartment with maybe a radio to keep him occupied.

But along with the thought of leaving the apartment, he was filled with the need to raid a local store or slide nimble fingers in worn pockets to feel for a wallet or watch or _something_.

His eyes roamed around the room, mind dislocated from his surroundings but he found himself staring at the photo of his family crookedly placed on his desk- it was the one photo he had of his father when he was still alive.

The one photo he had of his mother when she still smiled.

He was there, 7 and nestled between their legs, mid-blink.

The building his father worked at was behind them, a skyscraper midst Tokyo. His father told him he owned it, _we own it, Tobio._

His father told him he was not the boss yet, his mother told him his father was way too important to lose.

“Why?”

“Because he’s a hardworking man, Tobio! He’s loyal, ah, so dedicated-”

He tucked her new hair extensions behind her ear and smoothed down her new dress- the one sprinkled with sapphire sequins.

Tobio didn’t like holding her hand as much anymore, they were always occupied with rings.

Tobio was only 7 and greed was a concept he couldn’t understand.

He clicked his tongue and turned his attention back to his gun.

He tapped it, wondered how the public would react to a glowing figure with wings bigger than imagination.

Shouyou was jiggling the doorknob, knocking obnoxiously, Kageyama, your sun stick is broken!

Tobio clicked his tongue and dropped the gun back into his safe. He shoved it under his bed and threw the calendar on his bed.

He opened the door, eyebrows arching closer from annoyance.

“Why must you lock it?” Shouyou asked.

“Why must you wreck my shit?”

Shouyou’s eyes widened, “how vulgar!”

Tobio rolled his eyes and looked at the state of his lounge.

Or what was left of his lounge.

“What the hell did you do?!” Tobio yelled.

The lamps were knocked into each other, there was a dent and a crack on the wall now, there were dents on the ceiling.

His neat shelves were lying on the floor, his tables were tilted or lying upside down.

“What the fuck?”

Shouyou didn’t comment on his vulgarities.

“Are- are you unhappy?” Shouyou asked, looking at his feet.

“Unhapp- Shouyou, I’m fucking _angry!_ ” Tobio roared.

“Angry? What is- what does that mean?” Shouyou asked and Tobio angrily ran his fingers through his hair.

“It- it’s like I want to kill you right now.”

Shouyou whimpered and Tobio sighed again.

“What’s your excuse?”

“There- there was a creature on your ceiling. I flew up to see but- but my wings were too large for your home and- and your sun sticks-“

“Lamps-“

“-Yes, lamps, they- they fell and that startled the creature so- so it jumped on my face and then that startled _me_  so-“

He looked at the mess.

“What creature? What are you talking about?”

“That,” Shouyou pointed at the spider frozen on the nearest wall.

Tobio stumbled over the fallen coffee table, ankle hitting the edge with a painful noise.

He fell onto his couch as he tried to scramble away from the spider.

It was huge, its legs were thick and drawn out-

“Is it bad?” Shouyou asked, frowning at Tobio’s reaction.

“Well- I mean, no-“

“What is the problem? It is afraid, however, is it hungry?” Shouyou moved closer, wings flapping, “are you hungry?”

He was inches away from the spider.

“Get away!”

“Why?” Shouyou whipped his head around.

“Because!”

Tobio stumbled forward, grabbing a knife for defence- as well as a jar.

“It is raining outside, it is only seeking shelter- we have to let it stay!”

“Like hell we’re letting it stay-“

Shouyou’s eyes widened when he caught sight of the knife.

“You are not planning on- on murdering this- _this innocent-_ ”

“Shut up for literally two seconds.”

Shouyou stepped between him and the spider.

“No.”

“Shouyou, _move_.”

“I will not.”

“Yes you- NOW IT’S GETTING AWAY-“

Tobio threw the jar at the wall, out of sheer panic, face red with all the shades of annoyance.

Shouyou was screaming- when wasn’t he- and the spider was crawling up to the ceiling.

“Knock it out with your wings! Go, go, go!”

“No, no, no!”

“Do something you useless ange-“

He tripped over upturned stools.

“Ha! That is what you get and I am not useless!”

“Prove it, you dumb shit!”

Shouyou flew up, wings sending waves of wind everywhere.

He tried gently cupping the spider in his hands- he succeeded for a stray second before he yelped and dropped it.

He continued yelling because its texture feels so- so strange! Why does it feel like that?!

Tobio threw his knife, it landed metres away so he threw a shoe.

The spider was dead.

Shouyou fell down too, he forgot to keep flapping after he almost dropped it out of shock.

He landed where the carpet separated into hardwood.

Tobio rushed to his side, eyes pulled wide because Shouyou wasn’t moving.

“Shou-“

“I dropped it!” He wailed, sitting up lightning fast, “where is it?”

“Under my shoe.”

“What is Taromarou doing under there?”

“You named the spider?”

“Yes, is it still alive, maybe there is hope-“

It was dead and when Shouyou pushed the shoe off, he winced.

He apologised to the spider, you had a good soul, Taromarou.

Tobio rolled his eyes and brushed the spider away with a broom.

“Such little respect for the dead…”

“It’s a _spider_.”

“Taromarou was just cold!”

“Listen! If I let in every animal or- or _being_  seeking shelter then this apartment might as well be a zoo.”

“What is a zoo?”

“Uh, this human place where they keep wild animals. For public display or study. Or something.”

“That is _horrible_.”

“They take proper care of the animals-“

“That does not matter! Stripping them of their homes-“

“They’re better off that way, sometimes, there are no predators to eat them, they have everything they need.”

Shouyou stayed quiet.

“Poor Taromarou…”

“Why don’t you host a funeral?” Tobio snarked, rolling his eyes as he fixed his shelves and tables. He was glad he left his place plain and free of unnecessary decorations- it was easier to clean and organise.

“How would I do that?” Shouyou asked.

Tobio dropped the rubbish he had swept up into the trash.

He explained how a funeral works absentmindedly and suddenly Shouyou was lunging for the rubbish bin. He flung it open and started rustling through it.

“Dumbass! No! Gross! Don’t touch it, oh my God!”

“Do not use the Lord’s name in vain! Do not throw His name around without a care in the wor-”

“Oh my God, _shut up_!”

“Kageyama! What did I just say!”

Tobio closed the lid of the bin and Shouyou screamed once again.

“Taromarou needs a funeral!”

“No it doesn’t! Wash your hands!”

Shouyou held a small funeral anyways.

When Tobio was nestled in his bed in the dark, he turned the kitchen light on- he played with the light for a few seconds because he thought it was cool.

Tobio frowned at the light that seeped through the gaps in his door, he glared at the sudden flickering and sighed because Shouyou was wearing him down to nothing but soot and ash.

He opened the door and padded down to the kitchen, mind set on yelling at Shouyou to mind the electricity bills, you’re gonna break the damn switch--

\--Shouyou was sat on the floor, blanket wrapped around him, wings peaking out, because his glow was almost gone by now, along with his heat.

He was talking to himself, or maybe he was talking to Taromarou.

Or maybe he was speaking to God.

Tobio watched, shifting his body weight onto the doorframe with his arms crossed. 

Shouyou was talking in kind tones, saying things like you were a good soul, _Taromarou, you will reach Heaven for sure_.

He never really moved from that one spot on the floor.

Tobio craned his neck to look at the clock, it’s been ten minutes already.

“You gonna sit there all night?”

Shouyou jumped, startled.

He hummed quietly, “perhaps.”

“You gonna sit on the kitchen, mourning every time I kill a spider?”

“How many are you planning to murder?”

“As many that comes into my apartment.”

“How cruel.”

Tobio shrugged, “well, that’s life, isn’t it? Guess you wouldn’t really know…”

He grappled at Shouyou’s head, tugging at his hair softly.

“Go back to the couch.”

“I do not want to.”

Tobio flicked the light switch.

He thought for a few seconds longer.

“Then get to the bed.”

Shouyou paused for a few seconds before quietly shuffling away.

After a silence too long, Tobio stared at the bin, at the dead residing among banana peels and food scraps.

He nodded a little, feeling a little apologetic, a little guilty- before he shook his head abruptly- this was absurd, this was stupid, what was he doing apologising to a spide-

He flicked the light off aggressively, muttering under his breath about Shouyou’s strange influences.

  
  


—

 

“I’m going out.”

Shouyou’s eyes widened.

“Can I come-“

“No.”

He pouted and Tobio sighed.

“Listen, don’t touch the stove- you know the four circle things in the kitchen? Actually- don’t even go into the kitchen unless you want food. I have chocolate on the table with the honey. Um, don’t go to the balcony, if anyone knocks, don’t answer the door. Don’t open the door, ever. Don’t even touch the door.”

“How do I leave the bedroom?”

“I mean the main door.”

“What if Oikawa-san knocks?”

“Don’t open it. Stay quiet, don’t make a noise until he leaves. He won’t be knocking anyways.”

Tobio looked at his phone.

“Don’t touch the power-points, don’t touch the lamps- don’t touch anything that lights up or makes noise. Don’t break anything- well, try- don’t go near the windows either.”

He showed Shouyou his little radio. 

He plugged it in and fiddled with the buttons.

It made a static noise and Shouyou covered his ears.

He turned the volume down.

“Play around with this, push the buttons, do whatever, I don’t care for it.”

Shouyou gaped at it, “what does it do?”

“Plays music or stories, depending on what you press, I guess. Just keep pressing this button until you find something you like.”

Tobio shoved on his beanie and wrapped a scarf around his neck.

“Are you leaving forever?” Shouyou asked, wings neatly folded against his back.

His wings were shrinking slowly by slowly, Tobio was relieved.

“No, I’m coming back, stupid.”

“I am not stupid.”

Tobio pulled on a thick jacket, “I’ll be back before the sun sets or something- maybe earlier than that.”

He turned around quickly, prodding Shouyou’s forehead with his finger.

“If I come back with my apartment a mess again, I’ll actually throw you out into the streets. Literally. I’ll grab you by your dumb wings and toss you into a sketchy alley.”

Shouyou gulped before nodding.

He stood up on the bed, hands braced around Tobio’s shoulder.

“I understand and I will do my best!” He exclaimed.

He launched himself on Tobio who yelped and stumbled back.

He fell to the floor, except Shouyou’s wings were wrapped around him, shielding him from injury.

“I will miss you!” He wailed.

“I’m coming back!”

Shouyou squeezed him once, twice, before he let go.

“I will miss you,” he whispered again.

Tobio scoffed, rolled his eyes and pushed him off.

He went over the rules again, went over his threat twice.

Shouyou followed him to the door, clinging to his hand, wings fluttering behind him.

“Farewell! Have a safe trip!” He called as Tobio opened the door.

He rolled his eyes again and grunted before closing the door.

Tobio lingered for a while, hand still clenched around the doorknob. 

He stepped away before jolting back, one hand wound around the knob and the other shuffling for his keys.

This was a Bad Idea, the worst idea he had ever had and he was a _thief_.

He didn’t trust Shouyou- that angel fucks up even with him in the same room- how’s he gonna survive alone? For a couple of hours?

But in the same breath, he couldn’t force himself to isolate himself- he couldn’t afford to sacrifice his sanity.

It made him claustrophobic, staying in his unit for too long- so he would leave, abandoning the quiet lull for wind nipping his nose as he shoved his hand in pockets and purses.

It was driving him crazy, Shouyou was driving him crazy.

Did he care? Did he really care so much for that damned angel that he was willing to- to do things? Like not go outside?

No, no- fuck no-

No?

He told himself he was only securing his ticket for Heaven.

Or maybe he was trying to prove to someone that he was a good person, that he could be a good person-

“How long are you planning on standing there?” Iwaizumi asked and then Tobio remembered he was in the hall, squeezing his door knob.

“Iwaizumi-san!” He whipped around to face him, “how long have- have you been there?”

“Uncomfortably long, what’s up with you?” Iwaizumi glanced at his white knuckles.

“I- just- um- thinking, I guess. In a bit of a crisis.”

“Anything I could help you with?”

“No, no, I’m good.”

Tobio patted down his keys and made his way to the staircase.

“Are you conflicted because you’re letting Shouyou stay over or something?” Iwaizumi asked.

Tobio halted.

“How do you know?”

Iwaizumi shrugged, “walls are pretty thin. We just assumed you were letting him stay…”

“I am,” Tobio said with a nod, “for a while. Until he’s, er, fit to go back.”

“Fit? What’s wrong with him? He seems fine.”

“Not him just. Um. His place. Renovations, he doesn’t have anywhere to, uh, stay.”

Iwaizumi nodded, said something about generosity.

“You worried he’s gonna mess up your place?” Iwaizumi asked.

“I- how did you know?”

Iwaizumi chuckled, “this here is my apartment,” He patted his door, "Oikawa wasn’t meant to be here. Similar situation, really. He ended up kinda living here by accident. He’s a messy moron, naturally, I thought I’d be coming home to a mess when I would leave for Uni.”

Tobio stayed silent.

Iwaizumi blushed red, worried he had bored him with a story no one really asked for, “the point is! I’ll let you know if Shouyou tries burning down your place.”

“Thank you.”

They both nodded at each other.

The wind hit Tobio first when he stepped out.

He breathed it in, the air, the wind, the clouds nestled in the sky.

He missed it.

Tobio pulled himself onto his motorbike, clenching his palm over the handles.

He felt the engine vibrate under him, felt the loud noises being expelled recklessly.

Tobio found himself doing laps because he missed this way too much. 

He ended up walking most of the way anyways, just so he could swipe wallets and stray notes.

He tried to elongate his time out, because he’d be forced to stay indoors for a week or so- until his next visit to the markets. Or until Shouyou’s wings were gone. Or until Shouyou himself was gone.

He thought about it again, why exactly he was willing to lock himself in for Shouyou.

With a short growl, Tobio slapped his forehead- he was only staying in to protect his apartment from the clumsy dumbass.

He bought way too much ice-cream- five tubs and three of the ones that come in cones. He also got the ones that came on a stick.

The bell rang in shrill whistles when he tried to leave. 

One of the guards showed up and looked over his receipt.

He read over the receipt, ice cream, ice cream- he stared at his cart and then up at Tobio’s bored expression.

More people were passing with bulking bags and Tobio’s mismatched receipt and cart got a nod of tired approval.

He left with ice-cream he half bought and half stole.

His new alarm clock had a built in radio too- which was a bonus but not really- he didn’t listen to the radio as much.

He waited for a call from Iwaizumi, waited for the ‘there’s smoke coming out of your apartment!’ or a, ‘I can hear zoo animals from your place, what the fuck?’

So when he came back, he had to brace himself outside. He counted to ten and pushed open the door.

There was no fire. No police standing in the middle of the room. No zoo. No mess, surprisingly.

It was exactly as he had left it.

The place was too damn _quiet_.

He checked the balcony, in case Shouyou flew out or fell off.

The kitchen was left untouched too- even the remaining piece of chocolate was left alone and he swore under his breath, because that meant the dumbass hadn’t eaten a damn thing all day.

He opened the bedroom door. 

Shouyou was on the floor, legs crossed and fingers playing with the volume button. He was listening to advertisements.

“Shou-“

“Kageyama! You are back!”

He tried standing up, he took a step before falling on his face.

“Wha-?”

“Your leg fell asleep- how long have you been sitting there?” Tobio asked, kneeling down to help Shouyou up.

“Um, since you left.”

Tobio’s eyes widened.

“You mean- you-“ He looked at his watch, it’s been five hours.

He looked at his watch again, still finding it unbelievable that he was out for five- nearly six hours.

(It made sense: he had taken a stroll in the park, had a burger and fries as slow as he could, went a little window shopping and played a game in the arcade.)

(Three games, actually. Maybe four.)

But he stared at Shouyou again.

“You’ve been sitting like that on the same spot for six fucking hours?! What’s wrong with you? Sit on the bed at least- doesn’t your ass hurt? You didn’t even eat! You need to eat!”

“My legs feel strange. I feel- my legs- it feels like tiny daggers driving through my skin.” Shouyou muttered, rubbing at his shins from over his pants.

“I can’t believe you. So stupid, you’re so fucking stupid-“ Tobio rolled up his pants and ran his hands over his legs in an attempt to massage them.

Shouyou squirmed.

“I was afraid if- if I did anything I would end up destroying your home. I stayed still, as best as I could,” Shouyou said, voice hoarse from the lack of use.

“Shouyou, you didn’t even get up to eat? Aren’t you hungry?” Tobio asked, taking pity.

“Yes,” he nodded hard, "yes, terribly so.”

Tobio ran out quickly, grabbing his bags of chocolate and ice cream.

“I did not want you to throw me out,” Shouyou said when he came back, “I would miss you too much. And- and you have been so kind to me, all I have done is ruin your belongings. I am sorry-“

“Quit being sorry, eat your damn chocolate,” Tobio gently flicked at his cheek.

He felt bad- his threat had worked a little too well. 

Shouyou’s wings were drooping and Tobio bit his bottom lip.

“I don’t blame you,” Tobio started. Shouyou looked up, caramel clinging onto his upper lip.

Tobio cleared his throat.

“For wrecking my stuff, it’s not your fault. Well, I mean, it is but I’m not mad. Don’t, like, cry or anything. Over something like this.”

“I am not crying,” Shouyou pouted, “I am eating.”

Tobio rolled his eyes, taking a stray lolly for himself. He wiped away the melted chocolate smeared over Shouyou’s cheek.

“There is a sale for shoes in Kyoto,” Shouyou said, wiping honey away from his mouth with his palm. He made a face at his now sticky hands.

“What?” Tobio wiped his hands with a wet rag.

“They said on the radio. They also said they will have the freshest hits at three fifty-nine.”

Tobio snorted, “we’re not in Kyoto. And it’s, like, 5 in the afternoon now.”

“Oh. The hits are not fresh anymore,” Hinata sighed, almost sad, “they are stale.”

Tobio snorted again, the kind that counts as a laugh.

“You full now?” Tobio asked and handed him a milkshake.

Shouyou asked what it was, I do not understand.

He drank it anyways, a line of cream sat above his lips.

Shouyou stared at himself in the mirror, gasping because what was that? He laughed to himself a little after.

Tobio pushed Shouyou onto the bed after and packed up the wrappers and stray crumbs. The radio was still on.

“Next time you’re here alone, eat something. And sit on the bed.”

“What if I ruin it?” Shouyou gestured at the duvet neatly arranged over, “you spent so long tidying it up."

“It’s meant to be ruined.”

Shouyou nodded.

He watched Tobio fix up his new alarm clock.

Oikawa had told him it was weird, just use the alarm on your stupid phone, but Tobio liked owning an alarm clock. The one where he could slam his hand over to press snooze.

Shouyou laid on his stomach, propped up by his elbows and his legs swinging back and forth behind him.

He didn’t stop staring, even when Tobio started pulling at his shirt.

“Can you look the other way?” Tobio asked, unbuckling his belt.

“Why?”

“Because I’m undressing?” Tobio said, half exasperated and half angry. Maybe half sarcastic too.

“I do not understand that tone. I do not understand why I am not allowed to look.”

“Because it’s weird! And creepy!”

“Oh! Like when I watch you sleep?”

“That’s a different category of creepy. This is just…uncomfortable.”

“I am not uncomfortable.”

Tobio rolled his eyes, “ _I_ am.”

Shouyou tilted his head.

“Why?”

“Just turn around!”

“Alright!”

Tobio muttered to himself, annoyed. He glared holes at the back of Shouyou’s head.

He tried turning back.

“Did I say you could look at me?”

“Do I need permission to look at you?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Humans are strange. Taromarou would not have been so bothered.”

“It doesn’t even wear clothes.”

“Even if it did.”

“Why do you want to see me strip anyways?”

Tobio could see the back of Shouyou’s neck flush red.

“Do not phrase it like that! It is not a matter of want.”

Tobio tugged on a jacket and fell back on the bed. Shouyou yelped.

“Then what is it a matter of?” Tobio asked, crawling next to Shouyou, into his line of vision.

Shouyou looked away.

“I do not know. Curiosity, perhaps.”

“Isn’t that the same as want?”

“No.”

“Yeah it is, you want to see me naked, basically.”

Shouyou shook his head, shrugged.

Tobio shuffled over into his line of vision again.

He flicked at his cheek.

He told the angel he was allowed to look at him now, you can look at me when I’m fully clothed.

Shouyou told him humans were weirdly touchy about clothing.

“Anyways, Kageyama, please rest, I want to- to give you something. To show my gratitude.”

“Why can’t you give it to me now?” Tobio asked, sitting up, cross legged.

“You need energy! A lot of energy!”

“I’m energised right now.”

“Fully?”

“I guess? I could run three laps or so.”

“Great! That is great!”

Shouyou climbed over Tobio, sliding into his lap.

“What the hell-“

“I am about to show you something,” Shouyou interrupted, palms pressed against Tobio’s cheeks.

“Ok...?”

“You must not tell anyone of what you see.”

“Wait, what are you gonna show me?” Tobio asked, shaking away from the redhead’s hands.

Shouyou tapped at his chin, thoughtfully.

“In human terms: magic.”

“And in angel term?”

Shouyou placed the pad of a finger on Tobio’s lips and he felt explosions behind his eyes.

Again, he shook himself away from Shouyou’s grasp.

“What the- what?”

“Humans talk very unintelligently…” Shouyou commented, wincing.

“ _What the hell was that?_ ”

“It is…hard to explain in human terms. See, we belong on different celestial planes, in a way, it is very difficult to translate words from Mankind to the- the things in Heaven. We do not use words, most of the time.”

“You don’t?” Tobio tilted his head, trying to pretend he understood all that celestial planes crap.

“Words do not carry the right meaning. Words are very, very…lacking.”

“Lacking? I don’t get it.”

“What is my name, Kageyama?” Shouyou asked.

“It’s-“ 

An explosion.

All the suns colliding into nothing but everything.

Sunsets and sunrises mixing into mixes of vermillion and cerulean.

Red and blue fusing but not _merging_.

Ultraviolet and colours outside the spectrum.

A breathless breath.

The future.

Pink satisfaction.

_Flight_.

Tobio jolted away, almost falling off the bed.

Shouyou snorted, “try pronouncing that in Japanese.”

“I- did you just snort?”

Shouyou covered his mouth, “oh, I must have picked it up from you.”

Tobio shook his head, that feeling- was it even a feeling? An emotion-

His name.

“Shouyou is a poor translation- we have veered off topic. I want to show you something.”

He let out a sigh and slid in closer- the closest he’s been to Tobio.

Tobio shut his eyes and Shouyou pressed their foreheads together-

He was drowning.

In starless ebony.

He opened his mouth the scream, crooked bubbles flowed out- but he screamed anyways, not making a single noise.

Shouyou was there too, he felt his movements before he saw him.

The angel floated up so they were staring at eye level, his wings flapped slowly, propelling them forward, inch by inch.

Tobio looked at him, getting used to the water.

Shouyou’s hair was on fire, set ablaze in the sea.

His eyes glowed too, his wings cast a strange light, caught between a sunset and the embodiment of fire.

He was _beautiful_.

And Tobio stared for too long, panic dissolving into awe.

He forgot how to breathe, didn’t need to breathe.

But then Shouyou was talking in chimes- but words-

Tobio’s lungs worked but at the same time...they didn’t.

It felt like contradictions contradicting each other until they made sense.

He breathed without really breathing and he couldn’t understand, didn’t need to understand.

Shouyou led him down, to where light didn’t exist.

This was probably the most scared Tobio had been in his life, sinking down into the unknown.

Except now, it wasn’t the unknown anymore.

They descended into the deepest parts of the sea, they floated over the end.

Tobio stared because there was a hole, a gaping hole with edges jagged and crooked.

And inside.

Inside, there were _stars_.

Tobio might’ve made a noise and Shouyou giggled and grabbed his hand.

They flew through the universe.

Or something, Tobio wasn’t exactly sure what was happening, there was a trail of seawater seeping out of the hole on Earth.

Shouyou flew around, wings made only a light whoosh as he twirled through stars and bits of rock.

It was all out of a dream, because they were both in the fucking _sun_  and Shouyou was still _brighter_.

Shouyou looked at him, again, eyes sparkling and at that moment, Tobio couldn’t find an appropriate comparison.

But then he was choking, bubbles dripping out of his mouth and the back of his throat burned.

Shouyou’s eyes widened and he grabbed his soul before fleeing back.

He could feel his eyes exploding, his head was exploding- his being was exploding and he was reaching the surface-

He gasped out a breath, eyes rattling in his skull. 

His sweat was mixed with sea water.

“You said you had enough energy!” He could hear Shouyou call.

He couldn’t care at the moment, because his eyes were closing and he died, he felt like he was dead.

Shouyou was still looming over him when he was… _reborn back into humanity_.

His bed smelt of salt, he felt gross.

He ran his fingers through his hair, salt covered his palms.

“What the fuck.”

“The sun has risen thrice.”

“What.”

Shouyou slid off his lap.

“The sun has risen thrice. Three times.”

It took a while for things to click in Tobio’s head, mostly because his brain was throbbing, probably full of salt too.

The only thing he tasted was salt, really.

His eyes burned.

“Wait, I’ve been out for three fucking days?” Tobio asked, jolting out of the bed, falling on the floor.

“Out- you have been inside for three days.”

Tobio repeated the sentence, again and again.

_“I was in coma?!”_

“I- I am sorry, it is all my fault!”

“Damn right it’s all your fault- you- your wings? What?”

Shouyou fluttered his wings nervously.

Wings that had shrunken down to half its size.

They barely brushed over his shoulders.

“It was a mistake, showing you things that a- a human was not meant to see,” Shouyou laughed, uneasily, “I apologise. I- I forgot the human brain does not understand things from the beyond.”

Tobio sat back down on the edge.

“What happened?”

“Do you remember? What you saw?” Shouyou asked.

Tobio shook it off as a dream but his clothes were still slightly damp and his room reeked of saltwater.

“Magic.”

Shouyou nodded.

“Do you know why I was considered a bad angel?” Shouyou asked. He smelt of saltwater too.

“You doubted or some shit.”

“Yes. I was expelled for many reasons, actually. I do not listen.”

Tobio snorted.

“And…I forget things too. For instance, I forgot just how human you are. I forgot I am not fully an angel anymore. And I do not have the right. To show you, um, _magic_.”

Tobio turned his attention to his wings once more.

“Why did that happen?”

Shouyou gathered his thoughts, trying to translate impossible concepts into a language Tobio would understand.

“It is an idea far more complex than what I am about to tell you. As- as I am not a full fledged angel anymore, I do not have the right to- to show anyone anything-“

“You’ve said,”

“-it would have consequences. Most of the celestial, um, pieces? Is that the right word- it has fled my- my soul. Therefore, I am more human than I was before I showed you anything.”

Tobio tapped at his knee, “so, doing that drained your magic or something? Sped up your process of being human?”

Shouyou winced, curling his fingers into fists.

“That- that is a horrible way to put it but yes, if that is what you can understand, then yes.”

“Angels have souls?”

“I am only a soul. Now I have a physical body.”

It was too much for Tobio to wrap his head around, so he went to take a shower.

He managed to get most of the salt out, it gathered around the drain.

He slid down the tiled wall and thought about everything that had just happened.

Tobio panicked a little, for no reason- maybe it was too much to handle.

Maybe something came loose in his head because amongst his migraine, he felt frenzy. 

And slight hysteria.

Though, he was fine after.

He told Shouyou he should bathe too, you reek of seawater.

He didn’t trust Shouyou to take a shower, knowing him, he would slip and die.

So he ran a bath for him.

“Angels know a lot of things, huh?” Tobio commented.

“Yes, we live on a higher plane. Angels are considered higher than humans, we possess knowledge far more…um-“

“Ok so angels are wiser,” Tobio filled in as Shouyou had racked his brain for a suitable word.

“Yes. We do not need to know of the past as we have experienced it for ourselves. We know more of the universe and of humans as we are constantly observi-“

“Then what the hell is wrong with you?” Tobio asked, “angels know things but you’re so _stupid_. Are you retarded in your angel world?”

Shouyou grew quiet.

Tobio snapped his gaze back to him, startled by his silence. He retraced his words and flinched at how he came off.

“I…was never really fit to be an angel,” Shouyou answered, “I was too flawed.”

Tobio bit his bottom lip.

“Another reason you were kicked out?” He asked when he found nothing else to say.

Shouyou nodded.

“I, er, I don’t think you’re completely, like…flawed-“

Shouyou hit him with a deadpanned stare.

“You were in comatose because of me, are you serious? If you want to flatter me, please do not lie.”

Tobio stared at him and he covered his mouth.

“Watch your tone.”

“I do not understand,” Shouyou turned away and Tobio snorted out a laugh. He wondered if bad attitudes were contagious.

He ran his fingers through the water.

“Get in. It’s ready.”

Shouyou nodded before stepping in with his blanket draped over him.

“No, no, take the blanket off. And pants.”

“But…without pants, I am nude.”

“You’re not wearing, like, underwear…?”

“Humans are so peculiar! A layer of pants under pants? No, it is odd.”

Tobio rolled his eyes and took the blanket.

Shouyou, however, stood still.

“Are you not going to turn around?” He asked.

Tobio raised an eyebrow, “why?”

“What do you mean why? It is your own rule! I am merely following!”

“I need to look!”

“Why?”

“In case you get in wrong?”

He turned away anyways, frustrated and Shouyou laughed a little.

He asked what he should do, now that he was in here.

Bubbles covered everything, Shouyou skimmed his fingers through the foam. His shoulders were glittering with stardust or maybe something more _celestial_  than that.

Still, Tobio’s ears turned cherry and Shouyou stuck out his leg, giggling at the suds sticking to it.

Tobio’s blush reached his cheeks and he rolled his eyes, told him to lather shampoo in his hair, use the body wash next to you, Shou- _the other one!_.

He ended up rolling up his pants and climbing into the the tub.

He sat on the edge, shins under water and resting beside Shouyou who was nestled in the middle.

Tobio grumbled as he lathered shampoo into his hair.

“Do you miss Heaven?” Tobio asked, slowing his pace because Shouyou kept complaining, it feels like you’re pulling out my hair, Kageyama!

“Yes, very much so. I wish to go back.”

Tobio hummed in response.

“But, I like it here as well. If I was not a pathetic excuse for an angel, I would not have met you,” Shouyou sighed.

Tobio blushed vermillion.

He dumped a bucket full of water on his head and Shouyou shrieked.

His wings were folded neatly against his back. Tobio ran wet fingers through the feathers which seemed to be growing duller.

“They are going to shrink away sooner,” Shouyou whispered, drawing his knees up to his chest.

Tobio huffed out, his strange version of a victorious laugh.

“Thank God.”

“That means I will be leaving soon.”

“Yeah.”

Shouyou turned his neck to face Tobio.

“Will you miss me?”

Tobio stepped out of the tub and rolled the ends of his pants down. He wiped away the bubbles clinging to his ankles and stifled a yawn before shrugging.

“Sure,” he answered, non-committedly.

Shouyou hummed happily, ignoring how Tobio’s words remained mismatched.

He scooped up the bubbles and made a little crown for himself.

As of late, Oikawa had been visiting too often.

During the last arbitrary visits, Tobio had been lounging on his crooked (ah, courtesy to Shouyou) couch, browsing cooking channels while Shouyou fucked around with the radio- which was kind of annoying, because he didn’t like lowering the volume and the sound of static was getting on Tobio’s last nerve.

Then Oikawa had rapped his knuckles against his door- five times, in an odd rhythm- with a loud “yoohoo!”

The dumb radio would stop making ugly noises, which was a relief but Oikawa was soon yelling out Shou-chan! I came to visit the shorty!

Shouyou flared five minutes later, after he figured out what shorty meant.

Tobio had gotten out of his couch a little too quickly, he mildly injured his leg but whatever. He had bolted to his closet to grab a coat- the big bulky ones made to endure snow.

He had thrown it at Shouyou in a rush and yelled out a “coming!” because that damn Oikawa was still knocking. He looked at Shouyou.

He had the coat on backwards, the fur hoodie engulfed his face.

Tobio fixed it for him and looked at his back, his back was obscured by the bulk of the coat, the hump on his back mixed in with the poofiness.

Oikawa grinned at them both.

“Your apartment doesn’t seem as gloomy- oh, what the hell?”

Oikawa stared at Shouyou.

“Aren’t you hot?”

“I am.”

Shouyou was sweating now, more than an average human being. He touched the damp hair on his nape, wrinkling his nose because it was confusing, perspiration was confusing.

Oikawa settled on the couch and stared more at Shouyou.

“So…? Take it off?”

Shouyou glanced at Tobio who shook his head.

“I cannot.”

"And why is that, Shou-chan?” Oikawa asked.

Tobio made tea, for Oikawa because that was polite and Oikawa liked tea.

He glared at Shouyou from the counter and made a list of things that could go wrong.

“B-because! I- I-“

“He gets cold easily,” Tobio filled in, “it’s weird, I dunno but he’s a dumb weirdo so-“ Tobio shrugged.

“He’s…wearing shorts.”

Oikawa looked at the shorts Shouyou was wearing, the one three sizes too big and tightened with some rope.

“Like I said, he’s, uh, really fucking weird."

Oikawa looked at Shouyou again, eyebrows raised, expression confused but Shouyou smiled, the kind that reached his eyes and Oikawa was smiling too.

“So Shou-chan! I heard you were getting some renovations done at your place,” Oikawa said, flicking through channels with Tobio’s remote, propping his feet up on Tobio’s coffee table.

Tobio didn’t mind, not when it came to Oikawa.

Iwaizumi thought that was a little fucked up, you’re letting him get away with too many things, Kageyama.

Tobio thinks Iwaizumi is not one to talk, he lets Oikawa get away with things too, he’s not much better.

Tobio kept his mouth shut, he valued his life.

“Renovations…?” Shouyou asked and Oikawa nodded, “I- I do not understand.”

“Reno- it’s why you’re here right?”

“I was banished.”

Tobio made a strange noise as he glared and Shouyou’s eyes widened. He slapped his hands over his mouth.

“I have given too much away!” He cried.

Tobio quickly placed the cup of tea down and sat beside Shouyou.

“He was kicked out,” Tobio excused and Oikawa crossed his legs.

“What? Stick to one story.”

“Shouyou was…embarrassed about getting kicked out- so he’s been…lying.”

Oikawa kept staring.

“I do not lie,” Shouyou cut in.

Tobio squeezed his thigh almost viciously.

Shouyou whined.

Shouyou said questionable things, Tobio kept having to cover until he needed a bathroom break to breathe.

Oikawa was staring at Shouyou with such confusion when he came back- Tobio was sure there was a slight trace of fear hidden in his eyes.

He excused himself too quickly.

Tobio chased after him, he asked about Shouyou, what did the moron say?

“I- I don’t even know? He was just talking about- he said having a physical body was hard to maintain, I don’t even know, Kageyama. _What is he_ _?”_

Tobio grabbed at his shoulder, told him to relax please.

“Is he- like-“ Oikawa inhaled sharply, “listen, don’t laugh but I- I think he’s an alien.”

Tobio frowned.

“He asked me what tea was- _tea_. He said you’re a caring and kind person! What the fuck! I think he confused you for me?”

“Oikawa-san-“

“Also he’s just looks so…not human, y’know, like, humans cannot look that pretty. His face is so nice it’s weird. And he wears coats with shorts, what the fuck?”

Tobio inhaled.

He wasn’t particularly a bad liar, he used to think that to be a good thief one would have to be a good liar, except he never really had to talk, except to maybe to mumble insincere apologies to a businessman as he stowed away another used wallet.

But he had been planning this lie, albeit poorly.

Schizophrenia, he was planning on telling Oikawa but the older of the two was staring Tobio down with such an intense glare that he faltered.

“Shouyou is…stupid. Like- like, unbelievably stupid- he didn’t go to school-“

“Is that even allowed…?”

“I don’t know but like- he’s a fucking dumbass. And his parents were…dumbly protective. Shielded him from the dumbest shit. Kinda fucked him up. In a dumb way.”

Oikawa’s eyes grew wide.

“Wow.”

“I know right? He is really religious too, by the way? Like…to the point where he thinks he’s an angel- prophet- no, angel.”

“What the fuck.”

Oikawa was silent for a while.

“Actually, it kinda makes sense.”

Tobio told him to play along and Oikawa shrugged, whatever-

“Um, also, I was, um, I was totally kidding about the alien thing, just- I didn’t say that.”

Tobio nodded, sharply.

Shouyou opened the door a crack, cheeks red from overwhelming heat.

“Did I upset you, Oikawa-san?” Shouyou asked, eyes wide and golden. Oikawa stared.

He covered his mouth quickly, to cover a high pitched squeal.

“Cute, he’s so cute, oh my God, I want to squish him to death.”

“I cannot die, I am immortal.”

Oikawa squealed again.

He pinched his cheek, “...so dumb, I love it.”

He cleared his throat after, told Tobio that he didn’t make those weird noises, it was the door.

Oikawa kept visiting after- he said it he found Shouyou’s stupidity to be quite endearing, “makes him cuter.”

Tobio said it made him more annoying.

Oikawa invited them to his apartment a little too often, Tobio wondered if his own presence was needed.

“We should get going,” Tobio looked the hands in his watch that never moved past 11:53.

He shivered because Oikawa’s apartment was near freezing, the air-conditioning was on because Hinata refused to take off his coat.

“Can we stay a little longer? Oh please?” Shouyou begged.

Oikawa clapped his hands together.

“Yeah, can’t he?” Oikawa asked, ruffling Shouyou’s hair.

Tobio sighed.

“What about…he stays only. You can leave,” Oikawa suggested.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive!”

Shouyou started spending more days with Oikawa, more nights with Iwaizumi too because Tobio kept bolting out with a gun in his bag and a new raid on his mind.

Still, Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn’t mind at all.

Shouyou asked questions- the stupid kind like why did Oikawa and Iwaizumi have so many decorations, are they necessary? 

“Well, it’s to make the house looks nicer.”

“Ohh!” Shouyou chirped, “Kageyama does not have any.”

Oikawa snorted, “Of course, he’s a boring guy.”

Shouyou tilted his head.

He didn’t understand or rather: he found it hard to understand.

Oikawa disliked Tobio, detested him, hated him.

He didn’t get it, Shouyou thinks he’ll never really get it because-

Because Tobio was amazing, his saviour, he offered him shelter and ice cream, he would make a great angel if he didn’t swear so much.

And he wondered if that was why Tobio always seemed to be in such a sour mood.

“Are you constantly irritated because Oikawa-san dislikes you?” Shouyou asked on a dim Thursday- but all the days seemed to be dim.

Tobio liked having the curtains drawn together.

Tobio whipped his head around, eyebrow raised, eyebrows pinched, eyebrows flying up into his hairline.

“What.”

He was reading, a small book, but he seemed to be stuck on the same page for too long.

Shouyou guessed he was only pretending to read, just so he would remain undisturbed- Shouyou couldn’t tell if it was a trick or another weird human custom- like the importance of time.

Shouyou paused slightly because _‘what’_  had different meanings, different contexts. Sometimes _‘what’_ was a term used when Shouyou was shaking him awake at dawn because he was tired of doing nothing, it was used bitterly, the edges of the word sharpened into a glare. 

Sometimes it was used when he found Shouyou trying on all of the clothes in his closet, the word tinged with confusion, _you’re unbelievable, Shouyou_.

Sometimes it was used when his earphones were plugged him and Shouyou was still talking, talking, talking, are you listening, Kageyama?

Shouyou wondered if he should repeat his statement.

He did anyways, because Tobio was still staring, eyebrows settling into their usual furrow.

“Oikawa…since when does he hate me? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Shouyou bristled at the swear.

“He- he detests you.”

A statement that didn’t really need to be elaborated.

Still, Tobio stared.

“No?”

Shouyou blinked because he still didn’t understand tone- it was a statement, yet it was a question.

But Tobio looked irritated, like Shouyou was wrong, you’re being stupid, you dumbass angel.

“He is so… _mean_  to you,” Shouyou answered, leaning forward on his knees.

He was nestled on the floor with the little radio cold against his lap.

Tobio shifted on the couch.

“He’s mean to everyone, that’s just in his nature.”

“He called you things,” Shouyou fiddled with the buttons on the side.

Tobio shrugged.

“I call you things. Do I hate you?”

Shouyou snapped his gaze up.

_“Do you?”_

Tobio rolled his eyes, because the answer was pretty obvious but Shouyou was staring up with such a serious expression, he found it slightly amusing.

“Yes,” he turned his attention back to his book and Shouyou gasped, scrambling to his knees.

He pawed at Tobio’s legs, apologising, please do not hate me, I am sorry, Kageyama-

Tobio rolled his eyes again, sighing this time and maybe snorting out a laugh.

“I’m kidding. Relax.”

Shouyou stared because he didn’t understand, he never understood.

He told him in a quiet voice, I don’t understan-

“Of course you don’t,” Tobio snapped, “I’m joking, dumbass, I’m not serious.”

“But…jokes are meant to be funny.”

Tobio shrugged, whatever, not like either of them had a sense of humour.

“So do you?” Shouyou asked again, insistent.

“I don’t fucking hate you, ok? Oikawa-san doesn’t hate me either, he’s just an asshole naturally or some shit, don’t take anything he says personally.”

There was an edge of finality and irritation in Tobio’s voice so Shouyou turned his attention back to his radio until Tobio snapped at him to turn it the fuck off.

Shouyou had been spending more time with Oikawa and Iwaizumi than Tobio.

Tobio was never really home.

Iwaizumi whistled when he looked at the clock above their television set.

“Kageyama’s been out all night, what the fuck is he even doing.” Iwaizumi asked, eye still glued to the screen.

Shouyou stared, unsure if he should answer because it was a question yes but no it wasn’t.

Oikawa hummed from the sofa, said something about getting lucky or whatever.

Iwaizumi simply grunted and Oikawa said he should start taking notes from Tobio-chan.

Shouyou didn’t understand but Iwaizumi looked irritated.

It took a while for Shouyou to realise Oikawa was perhaps slightly meaner to Iwaizumi-

Which he didn’t get at all because they were best friends, they finished each others’ sentences, they were perfectly in sync.

It really startled Shouyou when Iwaizumi started hitting Oikawa after his sly comments- he threw a cup at him at one point, though, it was a plastic cup with a few drops of water clinging to the sides.

Shouyou asked Tobio about this again and again, they are the best of friends, Kageyama, _I don’t understand_.

“They don’t hate each other, oh my God, they are mean because…I dunno, that’s how some people show affection,” Tobio said and he was still on the same page as before.

“They show affection by…being incredibly rude.”

Tobio grunted.

“Is…is that how you show affection?” Shouyou asked, biting his bottom lip.

“I don’t show affection.”

Shouyou asked Iwaizumi too.

Asked him everything, does Oikawa-san hate Kageyama? Why? Do you hate Oikawa-san? Does Oikawa-san hate you? I don’t understand, I don’t understand, why?

Iwaizumi only snorted, “you really are into this whole angel thing, huh?”

“Excuse me?”

Iwaizumi cracked his knuckles and the joints on his back.

He said the same thing as Tobio, something about aggressive caring.

“Oikawa cares about Kageyama, subconsciously. Probably.”

“What.”

Shouyou zoned out halfway, there were too many curses in whatever the hell Iwaizumi was saying, “-the moron is always setting the other moron on dumb dates, saying ‘oh, I’m doing this for my own benefit’ but no, Shittykawa just doesn’t want Kageyama to get too lonely and-“

Shouyou wasn’t exactly sure what was happening but he smiled anyways.

(“-the asshole has a habit of being kind when he thinks no one else would notice-“)

In Tobio’s absence- and the television’s absence because he had somehow managed to break Oikawa’s TV set- he talked about everything and nothing.

He talked about Heaven and God.

All the failed wars and what was beyond the universe.

Iwaizumi told him he was amazing at storytelling, sounds real, how much thought have you put into this?

“I have experienced it.”

Iwaizumi nodded.

He talked about Tobio more, told them Tobio was his saviour, he is absolutely the sweetest, did you know? The kindest of them all.

Oikawa snorted- then he laughed and maybe he stopped breathing.

“It is true! He truly has a wonderful soul,” Shouyou sighed, melting onto the counter.

Oikawa snorted again, “that’s the most retarded thing I’ve heard in my life, oh my God.”

Iwaizumi nudged him, shaking his head.

“Kageyama is- is- the _best_.” Shouyou expressed with stuttering gestures. Oikawa raised an eyebrow.

Oikawa mimicked him, in a whinier voice.

Shouyou didn’t understand.

Oikawa asked him if he had a crush on him.

“I- I do not- I do not want to…crush him?” Shouyou said through furrowed brows.

Oikawa sighed and slid out of his seat.

He squeezed Shouyou’s cheeks one final time.

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

Shouyou glimmered.

“Though not as pretty as me~!” Oikawa laughed before his grin broke out into a yawn.

Iwaizumi thought it was cute, how attached Shouyou was to Tobio.

He said it was great, maybe Kageyama wouldn’t be so alone anymore.

Shouyou smiled, just a little bit and his wings fluttered tiredly under his coat.

Oikawa slurred complaints through toothpaste a little while after, where the fuck is Kageyama? It’s past 1- I have morning classes-

He asked Shouyou four times before he had the key to the apartment, he cursed Tobio four times after Shouyou shook his head.

Iwaizumi fussed around for a futon, you can sleep here in the lounge, Shouyou, until Kageyama comes back.

“It is fine! I do not sleep anyways,” Shouyou said with too much energy and Oikawa yawned midst a flinch.

Oikawa frowned, his toothbrush drooped and Iwaizumi draped a few blankets over the futon.

“Um, the coat…? You planning on sleeping with that coat on?” Iwaizumi asked, turning the air conditioning off. He flattened his warm palm over the goosebumps forming under the thin fabric of his shirt.

Shouyou’s eyes widened, he beckoned for Tobio because this was a situation that confused him too much.

He thought of his wings, his shrunken wings that still ached from the lack of flight and he thought of human society.

He thought of Tobio’s warnings, they might take you, Shouyou, don’t let them know what you are-

“Yes, I- I quite like my coat.”

He curled his fingers around the damp hair that was flattened against his nape from sweat.The shirt under his coat was damp too- completely drenched and his cheeks were on the verge of violet.

Iwaizumi hesitated before turning the air conditioning on again, he told Shouyou to press the red button if he gets too cold.

Shouyou nodded and suddenly it was dark.

Iwaizumi’s door was closed, locked probably and so was Oikawa’s.

The window was open, the cool breeze fluttered in. 

The city was _roaring_ outside-

But not really, a light lull of horns midst pre-rush hour and lights flashing everything and nothing.

Still, it was too quiet.

Shouyou hummed a little and sighed five seconds after. He wondered if he caught the sighing thing from Tobio- he wondered if Tobio was a bad influence.

He shuffled around, his coat hissed against the blankets and his sticky skin.

He took his coat off after a while, kicked off the damn blankets and laid on his stomach.

His wings vibrated, his body hummed and a sudden coolness washed over him.

He tapped the hardboards with his nail a few times after, trying to make noise; a distraction.

Shouyou whined, flipping about before his hand brushed against his radio.

Squinting, he plugged it into one of the powerpoints Tobio told him not to touch. The radio flashed blue and he turned the knobs, set the volume on low.

He listened to the static, the commercials about lawyers and the new clothing shop opening in Tokyo, the ‘latest hits!’ in both Japanese and Mandarin.

He paid attention to that one stray Arabic station, the one that talked about prayer times and the meaning of life.

He listened to the talking- that one station where they only talked and Shouyou kept laughing because the hosts kept laughing; he didn’t understand a damn _thing_.

Yet.

Yet he paid close attention.


	3. correction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so so so sorry for the wait i literally forgot i was writing this fic bc i had so much going on in my life.

Oikawa glared Tobio into submission when he knocked apologetically at 6 in the morning with Shouyou on his mind.

“I- I’m so terribly sorry for the inconvenience, I- I lost track of time and-“

Oikawa raised an eyebrow, “I really don’t care, Tobio-chan, about your apologies…but Shou-chan might.”

Tobio stood by the doorframe awkwardly as he waited for Shouyou to notice him.

There was a crack on the television set, stretching from one corner to the middle. Shouyou stared at the cartoons, the animated dogs running around and talking.

He cleared his throat and Shouyou gasped.

“Kageyama!” He yelled, tripping over the radio as he struggled to get up. He fell face first on the floor, startled because pain was now beginning to mean something more than a temporary bruise.

He ran to Tobio, wrapping arms restricted by his coat around Tobio, “I missed you! I missed you terribly! That was too long! You were absent for too long!”

Tobio told him to stop screaming, it’s too early, and Shouyou grinned with a hum.

Oikawa tugged on his shoes and gave Tobio a pointed glare, one that said nothing and everything.

Still holding eye contact with Oikawa, he bubbled out a slurred apology. He snapped his gaze back to Shouyou who was still clinging onto him.

Shouyou grinned even brighter, told him it was fine! I did not mind!

He repeated his statement, in giggled whispers because Tobio was glaring at him to be quiet, it’s still too damn early.

Shouyou threw the coat to the ground when he trudged back into Tobio’s apartment. He shucked off his shirt too, called it pointless and dumb before he gasped.

He clasped a hand over his mouth, bent down and apologised to the inanimate particle of clothing.

Tobio watched him flounder about, trying to shake the heat off by actually shaking.

He felt bad.

Or maybe he was sick, Tobio couldn’t tell but his stomach was clenching too tight and his throat clogged up.

He felt this _need_  to make it up to Shouyou- which was dumb really, because Shouyou was the one owing him shit.

Shouyou had been pacing a lot lately.

His wings would carry him up crookedly by only a few centimetres before he would skip over a lump he made on the carpet.

He kept pacing, following the lines of the hardboard only to end up where he used to be.

Tobio paused his music and wrenched away his earphones- another do-not-disturb device, Shouyou had learnt the hard way.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Tobio snapped and Shouyou jumped back only slightly.

“I feel constricted,” Shouyou answered, “like I have been in a tomb for centuries. Claustrophobic.”

Shouyou walked on the armrests of the couch and Tobio barked at him to get down before you fall and hurt yourself, _dumbass_.

Shouyou ventured to the balcony, inhaling not enough.

He continued to pace.

He said something about cabin fever, I feel terrible, Kageyama, what is this?

Tobio wrapped his earphones around his phone.

“Do you want to…go outside?”

“But…I am not allowed,” Shouyou scrunched up his nose.

“I mean, your wings are- you know? Pretty tiny. Just put on a coat and you’re good to go.”

Shouyou nodded.

“Do I have to wear another layer under my coat? Kageyama, it is unbearably hot!”

Tobio shrugged, why not? he said, not like you’re gonna take your coat off any time soon.

Shouyou hugged him five seconds after he pulled on his coat, thank you! he had yelled, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

Shouyou had ran down the stairs, ran back up again because Tobio was taking too long.

He skipped and ran about the streets.

It was a peculiar sight, a bright boy too beautiful for such a grey city, running past fences in a coat three sizes too big and four layers too thick for such mild weather.

He came back to Tobio, like a new dog, exploring new lights. Tobio merely frowned.

Tobio tugged him through the streets, just so he wouldn’t get lost.

Shouyou stared up at the street lamps, head tilted.

He called them tall suns and Tobio tilted his head. He breathed out loudly, not quite a sigh, but maybe a smile.

Shouyou craned his head up the whole time he was in the shopping centre; he stared at the escalators running up and everywhere, at the transparent elevators that carried strollers and elderly women up.

He stared at the ceiling, the big, big windows framing the ceiling.

He could see the clouds, the birds.

Tobio called him stupid, look where you’re going, dumbass- Shouyou bumped into too many people and Tobio considered a leash.

“What is this place? Where am I?” Shouyou gasped, staring at the fountain in the middle of the shopping centre.

“We’re here to get you your own coat,” Tobio answered.

Upon entering the closest clothing store, Shouyou disappeared.

Tobio looked away for a second, to check the time- Shouyou was gone.

He whipped his head around, calling, Shouyou- dumbass!- he sounded stupid, women turned to glare at the disturbance.

Tobio flipped through clothing hanging on low racks.

He found Shouyou hidden among one of them.

“Stay by my side, moron, if you get lost I’m leaving you.”

He dragged Shouyou around by his ear.

Shouyou promises a little too hard to not run off, linking his arm around Tobio’s.

He refused to let go and Tobio kind of maybe regretted ever coming across such a strange angel.

He was loud- so loud that they were forced out of the store.

Tobio apologised, I’m sorry, he’s just a fucking idiot, you see-

Shouyou told him to not swear and Tobio then realised that there were children around him, taking his words in with giggles because they were too young to understand.

“Clothes are so strange- what is this?” Shouyou picked up a skirt- the kind fit for girls aged 8.

It was black with glitter spilled in star shapes. Shouyou touched the thin veil that was dotted with sequins.

He asked again, what is this?

He shoved it on his head, pulled it down until Tobio stopped telling him he shouldn’t try on clothes in public and started saying he was doing it wrong, it’s backwards moron.

He tried pulling it on over his baggy, baggy jeans- the ones Tobio had to tighten with a rope.

It didn’t fit at all, Shouyou struggled and Tobio yelled, “don’t be a dumbass, Shouyou-!”

But there was a rip, a loud _noise_  against Tobio’s excessive yelling and the J-pop playing over the low quality speakers.

“Are you _shitting_  me?” Tobio _growled_  and Shouyou snapped his gaze up to meet midnight eyes.

“I- no! That is- that is disgusting-“

“No! I mean- I-“ Tobio groaned angrily, stomping to the side to calm down, he came back, started whispering because people were staring.

Shouyou tried to line the seams of the ripped skirt together, as if that would somehow meld it together.

Shouyou didn’t understand half the things Tobio was saying, mostly because there were too many swears and he had a strange way of whispering.

Tobio sighed, his cheeks borderline _purple_  from his blush. He tried urging Shouyou into a changing room, at least, except Shouyou was too absorbed in whatever the fuck he was doing to move or care.

Tobio rolled his eyes and snatched the damn skirt off. He looked around and shoved the skirt in the back.

“Should we inform someone?” Shouyou asked as Tobio grabbed his arm and forced him to keep walking.

“No? Why would we do that?”

“Because we are men of honesty and pride.”

Tobio snorted.

“Fine, we are man and angel of honesty and pride?”

Tobio never answered and Shouyou gave up the idea for another skirt.

“What the fuck are you even doing- the changing rooms are literally right there, come, this is too embarrassing-” Tobio snapped, trying to pull Shouyou’s arm but the redhead squirmed away.

“I will not take long. Besides, there is no one here in his area besides you and me-”

Tobio grunted, annoyed and slightly stressed, “people are gonna come here, idiot.”

“I will be fast, you fret too much.”

Tobio sighed, giving up already. He eyed the skirt again.

“You…you do realise it’s for women?” Tobio muttered, watching Shouyou pull a wider skirt over his jeans.

“Yes. But it looks nice.”

Tobio shrugged.

“How do I look?” Shouyou asked, twirling around.

He had the sun in his eyes, Shouyou’s grin shone with glee.

“Fucking weird,” Tobio winced. Shouyou frowned, arms dropping to his sides.

“U-um, well-“

Tobio lifted up the front of the skirt and pulled open the rope holding his jeans together.

They dropped down to his knees and Shouyou squealed, hopping up and down, crying for his dignity.

“You’re not meant to wear a skirt over baggy ass jeans, it looks stupid.”

“Kageyama! That was uncalled for! Goodness!”

Shouyou lunged and Tobio’s legs, trying to tug them down as well.

He tripped over the pants tangled around his feet. He scrambled up to his knees.

Tobio called him stupid, moron, dumbass, what are you _doing?_

Shouyou said it was justice and he scrambled for the rope on Tobio’s pants- except there was no rope-

Just a black belt.

Shouyou frowned at it, Tobio shoved at his face, what the fuck are you doing-?

A woman and her two children rounded the corner they were hidden in.

They froze and Tobio froze too, finally letting the situation sink in.

Shouyou still had a hand on his belt, knees against the hard floor-

The woman screamed, covered her children’s eyes with her hands and Tobio screamed too because this was horrible, horrible, _horrible_.

He ran, told Shouyou to run- except the moron kept forgetting about the jeans wrapped around his ankles.

So he tripped again and Tobio remembered at the eleventh hour, that Shouyou preferred not to wear under garments.

They had to leave that store too.

“I do not understand what happened,” Shouyou said, sitting on a bench.

Tobio tucked the ends of Shouyou’s pants into his shoes, so he wouldn’t trip again.

“Please tell me why everyone was screaming,” Shouyou stared Tobio down.

“Nope, I’m- I’m good. Trying to forget it, actually.”

Tobio sighed, he was starting to regret everything.

Wondered where he went wrong.

“We need to get you new pants.” 

Shouyou assessed his pants and nodded slightly.

He spots the skirt again, in another shop, in the girls section.

Tobio was yelling for him, shuffling around because the damn shrimp was gone, lost, what the hell?

Shouyou busied himself with the skirts, he piled them on, tutus upon tutus.

Children passed, laughing into their little hands- hey, Okaa-san~ what’s that prince doing with the skirts?

One woman said it was because he wanted to be a princess.

The rest told their kids to keep moving, don’t look at him.

Shouyou stared at the pink top on the left- where the girls section skirted out into the women’s section.

There was a halo on the top, it was decorated in sequins and he wanted it.

Tobio found him with an arm through the neck hole and too many skirts resting on his hips.

“Ok what the fuck,” Tobio hissed, pulling him into racks to obscure his wings from plain sight.

“Is this not beautiful?” Hinata gasped.

“What are you weari- take that off, take the skirts off, what are you doing, you stupid fucking moron, you’re ruining my life.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Not really-“

“Can I have the sparkly thing?”

_ “No-“ _

“Please!”

Shouyou stared him down, gazed into his soul until Tobio had to look away.

“Fine! whatever.”

Tobio wondered why he was unable to say no.

He grabbed the top with sequins littering it.

He wondered if it was some trick, forcing him to say yes, yes, God yes.

But his wings stayed the same length, his heart remained pure and maybe, just maybe, Tobio had some weird soft spot for the dumbass angel.

(Why does he care so much? Why does he care so damn much? Tobio looked at Shouyou’s molten eyes, staring up with all the purity Tobio lacked: that’s why).

He grumbled to himself a little, I hate this, I hate my life, I hate you-

He looked around, scanning for cameras, for passing employees or witnesses.

He ripped the tag off before stuffing it in Shouyou’s coat.

It was barely noticeable.

“Wa-wait, what are you doing?”

“Getting it for you?”

“This is strange.”

“Well this is how it is. Now shut up and follow me, we need to get the pants.”

Tobio bought the pants normally, Shouyou fidgeted in the queue, asked why they were just standing, Tobio told him to shut up.

(This isn’t right, this isn’t right, this isn’t righ-)

Shouyou looked around, took note of the scanners blaring a red light, at the beeps over laying each other, at the cards swiping across machines.

He heard the numbers being called out, along with yen, he looked at the cash, the coins and understood a little bit.

Tobio had his card out, waiting to swipe it across the machine when it was their turn, he placed the pants down, the extra coat, the shoes-

Shouyou started fidgeting, a strange wave of anxiety building up in the pit of his stomach as he waited for Tobio to take out the pink top and place it on the counter with all the other items.

Shouyou tapped his foot against the floor and tugged at Tobio’s arm-

(Why is he not taking out the top? Why is he not- is he never going to- this is-)

Tobio tensed next to him, fingers clenching into a tight fist. He closed his eyes, willed for Shouyou to stay quiet.

“Kageyama- you- Kageyama, the top, please take it out, ple-”

Tobio grabbed his hand, held it still. His long fingers crushed around Shouyou’s shaky fist.

_ “Shut up.” _

(This is-)

Tobio glared at him, his gaze withering but Shouyou’s heart was beating too fast, the situation was taking too long to sink in.

“Kageyama-”

“Is there a problem?” The woman scanning the items stared at them, scanner in one hand, eyes locked onto the silent commotion.

“Not at all,” Tobio replied smoothly and Shouyou’s fist twitched.

_ (This is stealing). _

“Kageyama, you- you are stealing from this place,” Shouyou said, eyes wide, voice soft-

Yet heard.

The lady stopped.

The man waiting behind them looked up from his phone in alarm-

Tobio.

He froze.

His hand went slack, his mouth dried- there was no room for misinterpretation, there was no way the woman didn’t hear.

Still, he turned around, firing out panicked words.

“L-listen, he’s just saying weird shit, he’s like that, y’know? Weird, um, and mentally disturbed, you get me?”

“Sir-“

“He’s retarded, I’m- that’s what I’m saying- plus why would I steal when I’m already buying with own money?”

He looked around, panicked, his tongue faltered around badly constructed lies.

His breathing grew heavy between words, he had to stop because he was yelling lies now, trying to speak over the thundering pulses of his heart.

Shouyou’s bottom lip was trembling, realisation sitting heavy on his shoulders.

“Kageyama,” his voice was strained, cracking at the edges, Tobio whipped around the face him, eyes murderous yet scared-

(Terrified, _don’t do this to me_  Shouyou-)

“-you are _lying_.”

Tobio went deaf for a second, his mouth went dry and the entire store was staring at him.

Men were coming after him, wearing uniforms, holding badges, holding authority.

Tobio had no more excuses.

He jumped over the counter, grabbing the bags and dropping his credit card. 

There was yelling, cries- screams.

Nothing was louder than his heart thrumming.

(And sirens, he heard sirens, drawing close in his imagination).

But he turned around, Shouyou still on his mind despite red panic.

“Shouyou! The sirens-!” He never finished his thought, panic was caught between his mind and reality but Shouyou was following him now, running clumsily.

The pink top tucked under his jacket fell out on the way.

Panic seized Shouyou, so he started flying out of instinct.

Except his wings were too small, his coat tightened around his now outstretched wings and he fell forward as he missed a step.

He ripped the jeans around his knees before he tried running again.

He started half jumping too, wondering if he would get to wherever faster if he jumped.

He found Tobio twisting the handles of his motorbike, the engine roared and Shouyou jumped on.

Tobio screamed over the wind, dumbass, dumbass, dumbass! He yelled, ears burning red from rage.

His profanities mixed with the air, anger boiled down to wisps of nothing.

Still, Shouyou trembled.

His fingers flexed around the back of Tobio’s wrinkled shirt, he let go slowly- he felt as if he didn’t _deserve_  to touch Tobio.

Let alone hold him. “Are- are you unhappy?” Shouyou asked timidly after Tobio stepped off his bike a little too violently.

The chirps of cicadas felt inappropriate.

The warm breeze felt wrong and Shouyou gulped-

Fingers shaking.

His stomach felt twisted, his mouth running _dry_ \- he licked his lips and his hands curled into unsure fists.

Tobio threw the bags of clothing down, clicking his tongue, curses silent but loud. He opened the large door to the entrance and slammed it behind him.

The building seemed to shake, flyers hanging around the mailboxes floated down from the sudden force.

There was a beat of hesitation.

Shouyou roared into panicked action.

He quickly grabbed the bags and followed him up the stairs.

The hike up the stairs was too long.

Thumps followed his every step.

“Angry? Are- are you angry? Do you feel like killing me-?” Shouyou blabbered, trying to fill in the uncomfortable silence, trying to reassure himself.

“Yes, I want you to die. Right now. Get lost before I strangle you,” Tobio spat in a cooly.

(Shouyou’s bottom lip quivered because Tobio’s voice was the depths of ocean.

The surface of thin, thin ice.

The point where the sky stops being the sky and becomes the universe.

But his glare was the core of the Earth.

An active volcano, spilling malicious magma and livid lava.

The death of Winter)

He slammed the door to his apartment with such force that it bounced open.

Shouyou quietly slipped in.

He stayed away from Tobio, his quiet rage was strangely more explosive than his usual fury.

Shouyou avoided his gaze- Tobio’s stare alone brought tears to his eyes.

“You- you were planning on taking the- the dress without paying,” Shouyou stated, voice hushed.

Hesitant.

“Th- that’s…that’s stealing...” 

“You, of all people, don’t have the _right_ to tell me that. What the _fuck_  were you doing when we first met?” Tobio spat, venom spraying everywhere.

Shouyou took a step back, until his back was pressed flush against the door.

The doorknob drove itself into his spine, yet he stayed still, welcoming the purple bruise.

His breathing sped up, his whole body was quivering- he wanted to cry- Tobio was truly _fearsome_.

Shouyou choked on his words, struggling to talk when he felt the weight of Tobio’s anger pressuring him to stay quiet.

“I was- I-” Shouyou had no answer, had no excuse.

_ “What were you doing, you damn hypocrite?!" _

“It was not- it does not count-!” Shouyou yelled, voice broken and strangled.

“Why?”

“Because! Be-” Shouyou inhaled sharply, his voice unstable, “I did not know…”

Tobio glared at him, his eyes a mixture of black, black and blue rage.

Shouyou’s gaze bore at his feet, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip.

“How stupid can you get? How- why- you are the dumbest shit ever.”

Tobio turned around-

_ (-I understand why you were banished from the Heavens-) _

“B-But, just because I did something horrible does not mean it is ok for you to! I am not the best example for good deeds!”

His hands were clenched into tight fists, his blunt nails dug into his palm.

He was on the brink of drawing blood.

He took a shaky breath.

“Why did you do it?” Shouyou’s voice stayed low and quiet.

The question echoed through Tobio’s head.

He thought of his mother, his mother, _his father,_ money he didn’t need, his mother-

“Why-?”

“Because I want things that I shouldn’t!” Tobio yelled and he thought of his mother again, thought of all the traits he had picked up from her.

Her eyes, her honesty, her sharp edges-

-Her greed.

He thought of all the watches she had, piled over her arm, starting from copper to gold.

He thought of his father, where is all the money going, where is all _my_  money going, Yukari?

Her lies, his father’s absence, when’s Otou-san coming home?

Shouyou was hugging him, face smushed into his chest, “I am sorry, I- you looked so upset, please do not be upset, I-”

_“Fuck off,”_ Tobio shoved him away.

Roughly.

He paced around, running fingers through his hair, “can’t go to the shopping centre anymore, can’t go outside, gonna be stuck here with you, they’re gonna _know_ -“

Tobio seized up, the police weren’t stupid, of course they’re going to add up his actions, match his height and past crimes against this, notice how he was alike the local robber who only stole during 10:57 three times a week- never leaving the region.

Tobio swore aloud, he had dropped his credit card- they could track him somehow, they’ll find him, see cash stacked upon stacks in a safe under his bed.

Tobio’s breath caught in his throat, “they’re gonna know, _they’re gonna find me-“_

He thought of the police, the sirens he had always been running from except he didn’t feel the bittersweet thrill, the rush of thoughtless adrenaline.

He felt cold fear and an ache.

_ Regret. _

Shouyou started panicking too, please calm down, please, please, _please_ -

“It’s your fault, why are you here? You came here to fuck me over, right?”

Tobio skipped breaths, his heart slowed and pulsed in the same second.

He muttered about karma, punishment, it’s your fault, your fault, your fault.

(It’s mother’s fault. It’s my fault).

Shouyou hurried forward and clasped his hands over Tobio’s trembling cheeks.

“I will fix it,” he said, he _promised_  and Tobio looked down.

His eyes, they calmed Tobio.

The cold ache faded into serenity, he’s ok, I’m ok, I’m ok.

His breathing slowed, “you can’t. You can’t do anything.”

Shouyou bristled.

“I will fix it but you have to make a promise.”

Tobio found himself nodding.

“Do not steal again, do not take things that do not belong to you, do not continue as a thief.”

Tobio wanted to laugh but Shouyou’s pupils were dilating and changing to amber, orange, gold, gold, gold-

“Ok. Alright, fine,” Tobio slipped back into a sudden slumber.

The day began the same, Shouyou was lost in Oikawa’s apartment, eyes glued to a screen with a crooked crack.

“This is your second chance,” Shouyou said to Kageyama as he waited by the doorframe.

Oikawa stared at the in confusion before squeezing a half-hearted apology from Tobio.

The day restarted the same.

He stayed away from skirts and glittery shirts eight sizes too small.

He stared at Tobio when he paid the cashier.

His eyes trailed down to his pocket, to his wallet, to his mouth as he grunted out a no to the jar of coins the cashier was gesturing at.

Shouyou asked him about it as they walked out of the store.

“It’s for charity.”

“You should have given some coins!”

“Don’t have any.”

Shouyou frowned.

“Kageyama,” he twined his fingers together, “are- are you still angry?”

Shouyou’s head was bowed down, he counted the tiles passing as he walked. 

“…No.”

“Do you still want me to die?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to…get lost?”

Tobio looked down at him. He could only see the top of his head, he frowned a little, finding it out of place to see Shouyou not already staring up at him with eyes that held the universe.

He ruffled his hair and pulled his head up, so he could look at his face.

“Only if you had a map.”

“But then…I would not be lost.”

Tobio rolled his eyes, “yeah, guess you wouldn’t.”

Shouyou smiled and Tobio had to look away-

(-Your glow was meant to be gone, dumbass.)

Shouyou skipped a little, decided to step on only the white tiles.

Tobio had to drag him away, to avoid bumping into people.

“Do you remember your promise, Kageyama?”

“Yeah, no stealing.”

Shouyou reminded him again when Tobio was shucking off his shoes by the door to his apartment.

He said it again when he was taking off his coat.

“It is a very important promise, Kageyama. Very important. So do not break it!”

Tobio only grunted before he stared at Shouyou’s back.

“Your wings…are gone.”

Shouyou gasped before pulling his shirt up and craning his neck over to catch a glimpse.

They were reduced to useless stubs peeking out of his shoulder blades. Feathers surrounded it- like clouds on a windless day.

Tobio reached out to touch them, because he had to, because they looked weird and they were heaving along with Shouyou’s breathing.

He ran his fingers over the stubs, brushed his fingers through the stray feathers.

Shouyou made a noise, his voice caught between a confused gasp and a sigh.

Tobio wrinkled his nose after he noticed how- how _gentle_  he was being.

He flicked his skin, to make up for the sudden soft moment, “looks weird.”

Shouyou was silent for a while.

“Do I have to leave?”

“What?”

“You-“ Shouyou inhaled sharply, “you told me that… that I have to leave once my wings go away.”

Shouyou stared up at him over his shoulder.

He looked sad and scared and he shouldn’t be allowed to wear such a fragile expression.

“No-“ Tobio scoffed, trying to look annoyed to cover up the lack of hesitation in his answer, “They’re not completely gone. Suppose you can stay for a couple more… I don’t know-“

“They will go soon.”

“Guess you’ll be here til then,” Tobio shrugged.

Shouyou beamed up at him, eyes closed and smile burning bright.

He launched at Tobio, laughing with his head thrown right back and arms winding around Tobio’s torso a little too tight.

Tobio yelled at him- 

(“Happy! I am just very happy right now!”)

Tobio rolled his eyes, made an effort to make sure Shouyou noticed, you’re such a _dumbass_.

Shouyou only giggled, “I want to see what you bought!”

He jumped on the bed and tipped over the bags thrown crookedly on the pillows.

He tried on his new coat, “wow Kageyama! It is very…very- ugh, what is the word…?”

He gestured with his hands, he spread them out, out, out-

“Poofy?”

“That is not a real word.”

“Lot of words aren’t real. We still use them.”

Shouyou shuffled forwards.

“That is very queer. Fake words are used. Why? They are not real, who comes up with them? How do you know of them? What is the difference between a fake word and a real word?”

Tobio sighed, rolling his head back.

He tried to explain- except Shouyou wasn’t listening, he was playing with the strings dangling from the coat.

Shouyou reminded him again, your promise is important, important, important.

Tobio grunted.

Shouyou reminded him at night, when Tobio was on the cusp of unconsciousness.

“…Kageyama?”

He was hovering over Tobio, his eyes held enough light to rival the moon outside.

“The fuck you want?” Tobio slurred turning around.

He had bought a futon too, along with clothes for Shouyou.

Shouyou ignored it, I do not even need sleep, why did you buy this?

Tobio had clicked his tongue, so you don’t come into my bed-

It didn’t work, because Shouyou would crawl over to his side when Tobio’s breathing evened out into graceless snores.

Sometimes Tobio would be awake, eyes barely closed.

Shouyou would lie on the very edge of the bed, then he would slowly make his way closer, closer, until he was playing with Tobio’s calloused fingers and curiously tracing over his jaw.

It made Tobio feel weird- a feeling caught between red and cool purple. 

-He had turned over at one point, when his mouth felt dry while his palms stayed clammy.

(He blamed it on Shouyou’s dumb angel magic tricks).

Shouyou played with his hair instead, brushing fingers through his locks until he passed out from bliss.

He didn’t hate it- despite what he told himself.

“Kageyama,” Shouyou called again, “do not break your promise.”

“What?”

Tobio rolled over, told him to fuck off, leave me alone.

“I fear you are not taking this seriously,” Shouyou said, almost nervously.

Tobio didn’t reply, stayed silent.

Shouyou shook him again, “Kageyama, please!”

“Shut the...fuck up,” the bitterness in his statement was drowned by his sigh. 

“Kageyama-“

Tobio shoved him off, shot him a tired glare.

Shouyou glared right back, from the ground. He crawled up again, grabbing onto Tobio’s shirt and planting himself right on his chest.

“Kageyama.”

“Whatever, I already promised, didn’t I? Get off, I want to sleep.”

Shouyou begged for reassurance, Tobio only delivered a little past 1 am.

“I’m not planning on breaking your dumbass promise. I won’t, ok? Go away.”

Shouyou smiled, melting onto his side.

Tobio did steal again, a few weeks later, when Shouyou’s needs to be reassured died down, when Shouyou was back to playing with his damaged radio.

Until the static of unmatched frequencies were driving him _insane._

“Going out,” Tobio had mumbled, “go next door if you get bored. Oikawa-san has a spare key.”

“I will stay here.”

Tobio might have gone overboard, his bag bulged with money, money, money.

The night was cold, he wondered if Shouyou was still up, tweaking his little radio or if he was curled up in his bed, futon forgotten.

The wind threatened to rip off his beanie and he chewed on his end of liquorice.

In the dead of night, Tobio returned home, shoelaces untied and promises broken.

Sliding the door open, he shucked off his shoes, flicked on the light with bleary eyes.

He dropped his bag, felt his temperature drop too.

Shouyou was there, in the lounge, with the radio and new television set.

Except the TV was glitching, pictures breaking into uneven pixels and the radio was no longer in his smooth hands.

It was on the floor, seconds away from Shouyou’s almost dead form.

Tobio ran to him, stumbled to the floor and stared.

Shouyou didn’t dare move.

A heavy trail of gold was flowing out of his half open mouth, out of his nose, out of the outer edges of his unblinking eyes.

“Shouyou? Oi- Shou- fuck-“ Tobio assessed the damage, he touched his forehead.

It was cold.

Cold enough to give him a frostbite.

He looked for a pulse, ran over the procedures he was taught in Health class.

His pulse was beating, too hard, too hot.

Tobio flinched away.

He called for Shouyou again, “what happened Shouyou?”

He ran his fingers through the angel’s damp hair.

He felt Shouyou stirring and he shuffled back.

Shouyou’s eyes were rimmed with gold.

He held a pained expression.

He blinked a little, shifted to gaze up at Tobio.

“Are you ok? Well- er, obviously not- what happened? Do you need anything? Are you gonna die? What’s gonna happen?”

Shouyou opened his mouth and Tobio tried calming his racing heartbeat, tried to calm his barrage of questions, tried to calm his breathing.

Shouyou coughed, gold dribbled out, mixed with spit and suddenly he was choking.

Tobio helped lift his head, helped him sit up, mindless of the puddle of gold seeping into his black carpet.

“Shouyou…”

The angel licked his lips, “you broke your promise.”

His voice was harsh and raspy.

His voice was angry and accusing.

His voice was crimson and gold.

He coughed again, pale bronze stained fingers creeping up to his throat.

Tobio hurried him to the bathroom, half supporting him, half carrying him.

Shouyou sat over the toilet bowl, confused and dizzy.

“Do you need to- to throw up…? Vomit?”

Shouyou shook his head, eyelids drooping.

He was shaking, almost violently and Tobio wiped a wet towel over his mouth and neck, chasing away aureate.

Shouyou fainted, right there in Tobio’s arms.

Tobio chewed on his bottom lip, the heavy weight of his promise finally settling over his shoulders.

He placed Shouyou on his bed, confused to whether he should tuck him in under blankets.

Shouyou’s touch was icy yet his heart was drumming fire into his veins.

Tobio tucked him in anyways and turned the fan on.

He brushed his hair away, frowned at how dull the colour was becoming.

He apologised a lot, voice breaking after his forty-fifth mumbled apology.

He took Shouyou’s hand and held it with his own, in a form of a prayer.

_ He apologised. _

He fell asleep, neck hanging forward, a sorry resting on his lips.

When Shouyou finally stirred, he snatched his hand away and rolled onto his side, back facing Tobio.

“Sh-Shouyou…?”

The angel was trembling against the sheets, fingers clenching into tight fists.

He tightened his jaw, bit his lips until he was bleeding gold again.

“Oi, Shou-“

“You promised!” Shouyou roared, turning around with sudden aggression.

Tobio held his head up, eyes wide and lips parted.

“Shouyou-“

“You promised!” Shouyou yelled again, fists pumping down on the mattress, “you promised! You promised! You promised!”

Tobio’s mouth remained open, he tried forming syllables but Shouyou kept going, until he was tired and gold was smeared everywhere.

“I told you it was an important promise! You should have listened to m- my body was ripped open, did you know that? When you went against me, I was tortured,” His voice was trembling but it remained strong.

Stable.

_ Angry. _

“I kept telling you it was not an ordinary promise, why do you never listen to me? Why do you never take me seriously? Do you hate me, Kageyama?”

Tobio floundered around, opening his mouth, rethinking responses, tapping fingers against his thigh.

“I’m sorry, I really am I- I- holy shit-“

Shouyou only stared, eyebrows pinched down and breathing layered.

“How- how are you, uh, feeling? Now?” Tobio tried again.

“I am- I am,” Shouyou choked a little, caught between answering and pure rage, “I am angry!”

Tobio didn’t say anything.

“I am angry! I am angry? I am actually angry!” Shouyou broke off to laugh a little, in glee, because he had never felt this whirlwind of bitterness and impulsive hatred ever in his life. He cleared his throat, “I am really, really angry, Kageyama!”

“Yeah, yeah, and I totally get that-“

“I- I want you to die,” Shouyou continued over Tobio, “because you are… _stupid_.”

Shouyou poked at Tobio’s chest with his index finger.

“Stupid?”

“Yes. And you are…an idiot! A stupid idiot! And I hate you! You are a- a- a fuck!”

Tobio let Shouyou curse him, spew nonsensical swears and yell until he was collapsing into the bed, chest heaving from infuriation.

Tobio brought him some water.

He tried again.

“Shouyou. I- fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t know you were- this was- why didn’t you tell me? That this was gonna happen to you?”

“I cannot. That is how the promise works. Besides, I should not have to tell you.”

“I’ll return the money. Um, give it to charity. Will- will that help?”

Shouyou shrugged, eyes trained on the crack in the ceiling. 

“I will, I’m- I’m gonna-”

Tobio did keep that promise.

He raced out, bag swung over his shoulder and he _ran_.

It took long, mostly because he was fighting nerves.

He felt dizzy; from regret and guilt and all the shitty feelings in the world.

It rendered him unstable, he had to balance himself against the wall as he fought off an urge to throw up.

It was almost 3 in the morning and he was crying behind a dirty building with his head down.

His bag was empty and he was retching, tears and sweat mixing with guilt, guilt, _guilt._

He remembered Shouyou, he remembered the angel convulsing in his sheets, fists twitching to ease the pain.

He remembered the gold tears rolling off sad, sad eyes.

Remembered the absolute betrayal embedded in Shouyou’s curses, the showcase of utter vulnerability in Shouyou’s chilling pleas.

His expression, his eyes turned so down- gold overflowing down his cheeks, mouth pinched into a shaky cry.

He did that, it was Tobio’s fault.

And he wondered how long Shouyou had endured the pain.

How long he had lain on the black carpet, radio out of reach and body jolting in hues of yellows as his body was ripped apart.

Over and over again.

Tobio felt his fingers shake and suddenly his whole body was quaking.

He didn’t mean harm, he didn’t mean for Shouyou to- to-

He collapsed in on himself, wincing at the sour burn in his throat.

Tobio slapped himself a couple of times, get your shit together, for fuck’s sake.

He was still shaking when he stumbled back to his apartment.

He called for Shouyou, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

His hands were empty of money, yet his conscious was barely cleared.

He stumbled into his bedroom, eyes wide, searching for Shouyou.

The bed was crinkled, sheets still bunched up in spaces Shouyou’s fists had clenched yet Shouyou himself was absent.

Tobio looked around the room, called for him again and again, Shou-

He was on the futon.

In the corner.

With his back turned.

Tobio slowly crawled to his side, craning his neck in the dark to see his face.

He couldn’t see much, except for the dried gold catching the light from the lounge smeared over his mouth and cheek.

As he squinted, he found traces of red staining the edges of gold and he gulped.

The night was tense and he laid on his side, leaving enough room for Shouyou to crawl in beside him.

He never did, he shifted in his futon, breathing never evening out.

Tobio stared at his crumpled form, until his vision grew blurry, until his eyes were drooping with pent up regret and drowsiness.

It was morning once more and the room felt cold and stiff.

He knelt by Shouyou’s side, fingers hesitantly brushing through hair that was falling over his open eyes.

He whispered his name again, told him of his good deeds, I’m sorry Shouyou.

Shouyou sat up, turned until they were facing each other.

“Do- d- how do you feel? Are you hungry...I- are you alright?” Tobio asked.

“I stopped hurting after you apologised, Kageyama,” Shouyou’s voice cracked from disuse.

“O-oh.”

They stared at each other.

Tobio hesitantly raised a hand, Shouyou’s eyes followed the slow movement.

Tobio placed it on his cheek, carefully scraping away the hardened flecks of gold with the edge of his thumb.

Shouyou didn’t lean into his touch, didn’t close his eyes or hum so Tobio gulped.

“I’m sor-”

“I forgive you, Kageyama.”

“You- you do?”

"Yes."

And that was that.

Shouyou balanced on his toes to look at the mirror in the bathroom as he scraped off the gold and Tobio prepared breakfast.

Shouyou sat quietly next to him, face dripping with water and hair slightly damp. Tobio swiped avocado across his toast as Shouyou opened the jar of honey.

He took a big spoon, like always, and he shoved it in his mouth.

But he was wincing, suddenly, whining through a sticky mouth. He flailed in his seat, honey dribbled out of the corners of his mouth and he was soon giving up, spitting it all out onto his lap.

He coughed, moving his head to the side and his tongue lolled out.

Tobio stood up, moved to stand next to him, “what happened? Are you ok? Jesus, Shouyou…”

“It- is this honey? This is not honey!” Shouyou wailed, gagging.

Tobio turned the jar to read the label, he nodded, told Shouyou that it was honey. He swiped his finger in to taste and he nodded once more.

“Why- why is it...disgusting?” Shouyou asked, running over to the sink to wash his mouth.

“I- you’re dripping honey everywhere, oi, Shou- take your shirt off-” 

Tobio yanked Shouyou’s shirt up and Shouyou raised his arms to make it easier. Tobio scrunched it up, wincing when his fingers brushed against the honey stains.

He held it under the tap and wiped Shouyou’s face roughly.

“What did it taste like? Honey doesn’t even expire- hold still- gross…”

“It tasted like…like- it- um-” Shouyou struggled with words, “my throat was numb and the taste was too much. Felt like I was- was- drowning?”

Tobio stared at him, “too sweet?”

“Yes. Yeah.”

Shouyou nodded.

Tobio gave him another shirt and a glass of milk.

Shouyou sat silently, wriggled only slightly.

“What is that?” Shouyou asked, tilting his head towards the toast in Tobio’s hand.

He took a large bite, mumbled out “av’cado,” through chewed up bread.

“I want to taste,” Shouyou requested, taking a large swig of milk.

White stained his upper lip and Tobio swallowed.

“‘S not sweet though.”

“I want to try.”

Tobio tossed him the half finished toast.

Shouyou frowned at the taste, opened his mouth to say something but decided against it.

“Well, give it back if you don’t like-”

Shouyou took another bite. And another. Several small bites until he was finished.

The day was slightly off, for Tobio and maybe for Shouyou as well.

Tobio was forgiven, he accepted it, didn’t say anything more, didn’t say anything less- he had settled back to comforting snarls and glares of permanent bitterness.

Tobio was forgiven, yet Shouyou was speaking less, he stayed on his side of the sofa, didn’t hang off Tobio, didn’t hug him at random intervals, didn’t smile as much.

Tobio was forgiven but maybe he wasn’t.

It didn’t make sense, because this is what he preferred anyways, it was a blessing in disguise.

He remained undisturbed all day, he didn’t need earphones to drown out nonsensical talking, didn’t need to kick and shove to keep his personal space.

In theory: he should be content.

So he found himself growling and muttering to himself. 

He refused to admit that he missed Shouyou- because that’s dumb, he’s right there, on the floor, doing a jigsaw puzzle he found in the back of the closet.

Except Shouyou was quiet- he wasn’t even humming a random tune he heard on the radio- and it was slowly driving Tobio insane.

He sunk into the couch, it was uncomfortable and empty and _weird_ so he stood up, black blanket pooling at his feet and he grabbed his keys, “I’m going out!” he said, voice too loud in such a quiet environment.

Shouyou blinked slowly up at him and returned back to his game.

Tobio scowled, there was no whiny protests, no pitiful whinging, no exclamations of ‘I want to go!’ or ‘safe trip! I miss you already!’

So he stormed out, mind a mess, expression a mix of confusion and irritation and maybe some leftover guilt.

The streets were busy in the afternoon, he bumped into many businessmen.

He swiped a wallet too, when he found a woman bent over a stroller with her bag wide open.

He cursed himself too, because it was out of habit really, out of raw instinct.

Tobio fumbled with it, dropped it on the ground and told the woman she dropped it, is this yours, I- I- excuse me-

He ran off, before the woman could thank him because he didn’t deserve it.

He inhaled sharply, staring up at the sunset stained sky.

Which was a mistake because the sky was orange, the clouds were orange too and so was Hinata’s hair and voice.

He cursed himself, a little too loudly because he felt empty all of a sudden, he needed a certain short figure next to him, leaning against his side, fingers curling over his sleeve-

-Smile directed at him and only him, declarations of appreciation thrown at him, head pillowed against his thigh, mercury breath against his neck, hot enough to melt him into submission but cool enough for goosebumps to spread all over his body until his fingers were shaking along with his heart-

He turned back around on his heels and ran right back.

He was huffing on the stairs, doubled over from all the running.

Tobio almost crashed into his door from the momentum- he stumbled to a stop and straightened up, brushed his hands down his shirt and waited a few seconds for his breathing to even out.

“Every time I see you, Tobio-chan, I’m always just: what the fuck.”

Tobio whirled around, eyes wide and beady.

“Oi-Oikawa-san-!”

“T-T-Tobio-chan!” Oikawa mocked with a laugh, “did you run a marathon or something?”

“Not a marathon. But I did run,” Tobio answered, fingers twitching by his sides.

Oikawa huffed, called him weird just because.

“Well whatever,” he shrugged before leaving without a proper goodbye. Tobio yelled out a “bye, Oikawa-san!” anyways.

He patted his cheeks before opening the door.

Shouyou was still on the floor, jamming together pieces of the puzzle that didn’t fit together at all.

None of them did, really.

He didn’t turn around so Tobio tossed his keys on his desk and sat down next to the former angel.

“Stuck?” Tobio asked after a minute of silence.

“They do not fit.”

“Of course they don’t, look, they don’t line up plus the picture doesn’t make sense,” Tobio pointed at the pieces in Shouyou’s hand.

“None of them fit. I do not understand. This is...dumbass.”

Tobio chuckled into his shoulder, “wrong swear.”

“There are wrong swears?” Shouyou asked, picking up another piece.

“Well, swears need to fit with the sentence. Like, you call people dumbass but you don’t call situations dumbass.”

“You are a dumbass,” Shouyou tried.

“Yeah. I mean no, you’re wrong, but that makes sense,” Tobio fiddled with the box the puzzles came in.

“What can I call this...situation?” Shouyou asked.

“Anything apart from dumbass.”

“This is idiot.”

“No, you use that on people-”

“This is stupid,”

“Yeah.”

“But you call me stupid all the time. And Iwaizumi-san calls Oikawa-san stupid too.”

“You can use stupid for anything.”

“Oh.”

“You can...well, um-” Tobio sat up straighter, “you can call anyone any swear, really.”

“You are a fuck.”

“Nevermind.”

“Why does that not make sense?”

Tobio tried to explain and soon the puzzles fell out of Shouyou’s palms.

“Fuck is a very bad word,” Shouyou said.

“Well yeah, these are all bad words. Why are you so interested anyways? You’re so...pure.”

Shouyou shrugged, “I do not have to be pure anymore, if you think about it. I am immune to Heaven and Hell. Immune to purgatory as well.”

“You can commit crimes.”

“Yes. But I am not immune to law, I do not wish to be imprisoned,” Shouyou shook his head.

“And swearing…”

“Is not a crime. I can...I can swear.”

Tobio smiled a little- but he was quick to cover his mouth.

Shouyou stared at him, eyes holding a calculating gaze.

Tobio caught his gaze and cleared his throat, his mouth drawing back to a frown.

Shouyou hurried to fill the sudden silence-

“Uh! Your smile can be nice at times!”

Tobio frowned harder, rifling through some puzzle pieces.

He answered after a while.

Tobio scoffed, “you’ve never seen me smile.”

“In your pictures.”

“Pictures?”

“Yes. Under your bed.”

“Under my-” Tobio thought about the things under his bed. There were only extra blankets, volleyball magazines, cash, the occasional dirty magazine (he blushed at the thought of Shouyou flipping through them), and his photo albums.

“You were a cute child,” Shouyou commented, smiling lightly.

“Well I’ve changed.”

“You are cute sometimes,” Shouyou said and Tobio grunted, “Most of the time, you are handsome.”

“Handso- most of the time? What am I the rest of the time?” Tobio asked.

“Cute.”

Tobio spluttered. He wiped his clammy hands over his jeans.

“Are you mad that I looked at your pictures?” Shouyou asked.

“Not really.”

“Alright,” Shouyou turned back to the puzzles.

“Find all the pieces where the sides are straight, ‘cause then you know they’re gonna be on the edges,” Tobio offered and they both fished for puzzles with straight edges.

“Kageyama, you said fucking can be good,” Shouyou said, suddenly.

Tobio jolted up, “Wh-what? When- what- ar-”

“When we were talking about swearing. I did not understand.”

“O-oh. Well, I mean, that word kinda just fits into a sentence to make it sound really intense.”

“Can you give an example?”

“‘I fucking hate you,’ just sounds meaner than, ‘I hate you,’ y’know?”

“Do you really?” Shouyou asked, eyes wide.

“No! I’m just saying. And- oh, these pieces fit together- ‘you’re so fucking beautiful,’ sounds more- more, uh, _raw_  than ‘you’re so beautiful.’”

“Oh ok! So swearing can be good!”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

Tobio talked more about swearing, the difference between ‘fuck you,’ and ‘ _fuck you.’_  The different contexts of ‘shit’ and why stupid isn’t really considered a swear.

“Fuck is very versatile,” Shouyou commented and Tobio snorted.

“Yeah,”

“You can say it to intensely compliment someone. You can say it to make someone cry. You can use it when you’re mad. You can use it to express intensity. You can use it without meaning anything. You can use it when you’re in trouble. You can even combine it with other swears.”

Tobio hummed in approval.

They were silent as Shouyou stuck pieces together and slowly by slowly, an image was forming.

Tobio carded through puzzles with his long fingers, picked up parts of stray images just to toss them back in the pile.

“What else can you use fuck for?” Shouyou asked.

“Uh...I dunno, for sex?”

“For mating?”

“For sex.”

“For ma-”

“Don’t say mating.”

“Why?”

“It’s weird.”

Shouyou scrunched up his nose and nodded.

“How do people use it for sex?” Shouyou asked and Tobio blushed red, wondered why he even brought it up.

“Well, fuck means sex- hey let’s do this puzzle and not talk about this,” Tobio said quickly, averting his eyes.

“So when Oikawa-san was talking about fucking Ma- Maiko-chan? I cannot remember, but he was saying he was...sexing her?” Shouyou asked, eyes overwhelmed with curiosity.

“He told you that?” Tobio asked, expression twisted up in disgust.

“He thought I was asleep. He was talking to Iwaizumi-san.”

“Oh.”

“Iwaizumi-san sounded kind of sad. Or disappointed.”

Tobio remained quiet.

“Oikawa-san had premarital sex. Is he planning on marrying her?” Shouyou asked.

“Uh, no? Oikawa-san has a lot of one-night stands, he’s not one to settle down soon,” Tobio shrugged, looking under the box for more pieces.

“What are one-night stands?”

“It’s when you fuck someone and then you part ways. You don’t see them again,” Tobio replied, blush gone and voice slightly irritated.

“What if you see them again?”

“Then it’s awkward.”

Shouyou thought about it.

“Have you had one-night stands before?” Shouyou asked.

“Well...yeah.”

“You’re not a virgin?!” Shouyou yelled, backing up.

“No,” Tobio sighed.

“That’s...that’s _bad_.”

“It’s not illegal to have premarital sex. Or one-night stands.”

“It’s immoral.”

Tobio snorted, “Not in this generation. But I suppose.”

They fell into some sort of rhythm. They locked pieces with each other, Shouyou pouted when the carpet got in the way. He asked more questions and Tobio supplied answers.

It was nice and Tobio found himself at ease.

“Shouyou,” Tobio started, nails raking up and down his jeans. Shouyou hummed.

“Yes?”

“Are you still angry?”

Shouyou looked up at him with a complex sigh

“I am...I am not angry anymore. You righted your wrongs, did you not?”

Tobio nodded and Shouyou averted his eyes.

Shouyou was strangely proud when they finished the jigsaw.

“That was fun! I liked that!” He exclaimed. Tobio melted onto the floor, lying on his back, hair swept back.

“Took way too long.”

“But it was worth it at the end,” Shouyou said and Tobio looked at him.

His smile was upside down, but it was still so very beautiful.

Tobio only hummed in reply.

“Where is this place?” Shouyou asked, tracing the edges.

Tobio propped himself up on his elbow and looked at the finished puzzle. 

It was of the countryside, the hills were rolling with greenery and fallen petals, there were mountains in the back, dulled with fog and clouds bobbing down to whisper about wind.

There were trees everywhere and there were roads leading to temples obscured by cherry blossoms.

“Miyagi,” Tobio sighed.

“Miyagi?”

“Yeah. I was born there.”

“Oh,” Shouyou smiled, “it is very beautiful.”

They locked eyes and it felt soft, the air, the atmosphere, Shouyou.

The redhead looked away first, “what do we do with this now?”

Tobio shoved his hand in the middle of the piece and scrunched his fingers around, until all the pieces were separated by carpet and centimetres.

Shouyou gasped, affronted.

“Pack it up. I’m gonna take a nap.”

Shouyou yelled at his back, “we worked so hard! How could you ruin it?”

“It’s a puzzle, make it again if you care so much. But pack it up when you’re done,” Tobio yawned and Shouyou glared at his back.

“I do not want to make it again!” Shouyou whined.

“Then don’t.”

Shouyou pouted.

“What did you think we were gonna do? Hang it up? It’ll break apart. We can’t leave it on the floor because we need to walk.”

Shouyou kept pouting anyways.

He didn’t make it again

When lunch rolled in, Shouyou was pointedly avoiding honey.

Instead he stared at the sandwich in Tobio’s mouth.

Tobio pushed the chocolate towards him and Shouyou ripped open the packet, almost excitedly. 

He gave up after the fifth bite.

Tobio asked him what was wrong and Shouyou simply shook his head, “I- I do not feel like eating…”

“That’s weird, you always feel like eating,” Tobio muttered. He studied Shouyou for a couple more seconds before slapping his hand against his forehead.

Shouyou squeaked before moving away- Tobio only grumbled.

Tobio repeated the action again, only slower.

“Why are you touching me?” Shouyou asked.

“I’m checking your temperature. To make sure you’re not sick.”

“Oh,” Shouyou replied, eyes still wide, “I cannot get sick.”

“Oh,” still Tobio didn’t draw back.

Time paused for a bare second and Shouyou was copying his movement, his hand slid up his face, moving back the hair in front of Tobio’s eyes.

They sat there, hand clasped over each other’s forehead.

“I’m not sick either,” Tobio said, after a while.

“I am checking.”

“Ok.”

Tobio was the first to draw away and Shouyou made his way towards the lounge, chocolate half melted on the counter.

Tobio gave him ramen for dinner. It came in a small cup, overflowing with too much soup and Shouyou scrunched up his nose.

“It smells savoury,” Shouyou commented.

“It _is_  savoury.”

“Savoury dishes do not appeal to me.”

“Well, neither does sweet stuff,” Tobio shrugged, “whatever, if you don’t like it, don’t eat it.”

Shouyou ended up draining the cup, asked for Tobio’s cup too and a piece of the sandwich Tobio had after he gave up his cup.

Tobio sighed, hit his head only slightly before turning to look at the piles of honey stored away in cupboard.

“Are you ever going to eat all this?” Tobio asked.

Shouyou stilled, breadcrumbs littering his cheeks.

“I...I do not think so.”

Tobio clicked his tongue, annoyance brewing under a tight-lipped frown.

The interval between dinner and sleep carried on too quietly.

The window was open and the thin blanket was crumpled on the ground, where Shouyou was.

But now he was on the couch, arms stuck to the armrest, craning his body to get closer to the TV.

He was quiet.

Which was simply odd and Tobio saw him as the sun.

Because he was bright and annoying, Tobio would look at him in frustration, God, shut up, dumbass- but he never did, he giggled away the swears and he was loud, loud and screaming, whining and squealing-

Tobio’s eyes burned, his ears were ringing and he longed for the night.

He always longed for the night.

Because nights were quiet, peaceful and filled with suns that were too far away to burn, leave his vision white and black, frustrate him.

He could chase money in the dark, sleep away dreamless nights, waste dreamless futures, forget dreamless presents.

But it was night now.

And Shouyou was-

_ -Quiet. _

Tobio fiddled with the loose thread of the arm rest.

He felt the sun slip away, leaving a sunset-

Shouyou laughed at the TV, body relaxing.

-a mix of orange, pink and orange again-

The absence was startling.

The wind knocked into the window and it was so very cold without the sun.

Tobio opened his mouth, to say something, bring the sun back, start a new day-

He let out a series of vibrations as he stuttered over possible syllables.

Shouyou turned around, eyes curious.

“Kageyama?”

“I- I- A-” Tobio licked his lips, thinking of what he should say, “I- don’t sit so close to the TV.”

“Why?”

“It’s bad for your eyes.”

“Oh.”

And that was that.

But Tobio left halfway through midnight, I’m tired, he told Shouyou, turn the TV off when you’re done with it.

He was done with it fifteen minutes later and Tobio rose up to shuffling.

Shouyou sat on the floor, heaving up the rolled up futon from under Tobio’s bed.

Tobio rolled to the edge of the bed and peered down, breathing heavily on top of Shouyou’s head.

The redhead jerked back after a few beats of realisation.

“What are you doing?” Tobio asked.

“F-futon?” 

“Why do you need the futon?” 

“To...sleep.”

“You don’t sleep.”

“To lay down.”

Tobio paused to look at him.

It was weird and odd and peculiar and Tobio didn’t like it.

Shouyou always laid with him, always choosing to go against Tobio’s half hearted complaints of, “get lost, fuck off, Shouyou-”

He’d wrap himself around Tobio, laugh a little until Tobio was yelling.

He didn’t know what Shouyou would do after he fell asleep, but he would wake up to his alarm and curious, brown eyes staring at him in awe.

(He didn’t miss it, fuck no, he bought the futon for a reaso-)

“Lay down next to me,” Tobio said, voice on autopilot, almost.

Silence once again and Shouyou was nodding, “o...k.”

Tense, it was tense, there was no rolling over the tall thief, no giggles and “stop breathing so heavily! It’s too warm!”

(“Then get out!”

Another giggle).

Tobio rolled to his side, facing Shouyou’s back.

He shuffled towards him. He sighed again and propped himself up with an elbow.

“Are you still angry?” Tobio asked, voice close to Shouyou’s cheek.

He shivered.

But he turned around, bottom lip caught between a bite.

“I’m not angry-.”

“Don’t lie, dumbass,” Tobio interrupted, voice low but harsh. His gaze softened after catching Shouyou’s rather startled expression, “you’re not good at it.”

Shouyou exhaled, fidgeting.

“I-I do not want to be angry. Yet I still feel- I feel- not angry. A- a sadder angry. I feel unhappy.”

Shouyou frowned and Tobio frowned with him.

“You’re upset.”

“I- I do not have a reason to be...upset. You have amended your wrongs,” Shouyou said, looking up at him for confirmation.

“You’re still allowed to be sad. You have that right, especially after I did something that shitty to you-”

“You did not even know something of that sort would happen-”

“I should’ve though, right? You kept saying it was an important promise...who’s fault was it for not listening?”

“Yours, it was all your stupid fault-” Shouyou muttered bitterly before stopping abruptly. He sat up, hands covering his mouth, “sorry, I- I do not know where that came from-”

Tobio snorted out a laugh and dragged him back down.

“You’re right. It is my fault. I’m sorry-”

“I know that. You are sorry, I believe you. I hope you believe me next time-”

“I will, Shouyou, whatever you say, I- I’ll listen and trust you,” Tobio said quickly, fumbling to grab Shouyou’s hand.

Shouyou was quiet for a while, he blinked twice slowly before he was grinning.

“Ok!”

He knocked Tobio down with a hug. 

He rolled off quickly, giggling to himself, “I do not feel upset anymore.”

Tobio hummed, “good.”

Shouyou closed his eyes, his breathing evening out.

“What were you doing with the futon, by the way?” Tobio asked.

“I was going to lay down.”

“You can do that in the lounge…”

“I like it here. With you.”

“But you were upset with me,” Tobio pointed out.

“Yes. That is why I did not lie next to you.”

Tobio snorted, “...dumbass.”

They were facing each other, Shouyou’s eyes were closed so Tobio stared, used this opportunity to stare at the sunset.

Shouyou opened his eyes.

“Staring is bad,” Shouyou commented.

“What?”

“You told me it is bad to stare,” Shouyou laughed, “Hypocrite! That is what you ar-”

“I’m not staring dumbass, you’re hallucinating, why would I stare? Nothing to see-”

“You are still staring!”

“I am looking, idiot, fine I won’t look at you ever again,” Tobio rolled over, so his back was facing Shouyou.

The redhead whined in protest, he flung himself over Tobio’s limp form, “no, look at me! I did not hate it- oi!”

He tried catching Tobio’s eyes, growling slightly as Tobio avoided his gaze, rolling over to throw him off.

Shouyou crawled over him and held his head in place, forcing eye contact.

He giggled until Tobio pounced on him, holding him in place in retaliation.

Shouyou stopped breathing for a few seconds before he was laughing, kicking and screaming-

They were wrestling and Tobio was maybe grinning the whole time.

Oikawa reminded them the walls were thin, shut the fuck up, _brat_  and please be quiet, Shou-chan~

They flopped back onto the bed, Shouyou closer than before and Tobio breathing heavily.

“I won, by the way,” Tobio said.

“Huh?! I won!”

_ “How?” _

“I had you pinned down last!” Shouyou whined.

“I had you pinned down the longest, bitch,”

“What did you call me?!”

_ “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!” _

Tobio and Shouyou promptly closed their mouth, muffling laughter with the backs of their hands.

Tobio lost count of how many days Shouyou stayed but a new season had started already.

Shouyou visited Oikawa less, he found himself declining offers to come over. Instead he would melt against Tobio’s side, watching movies he didn’t understand while Tobio would grumble about their proximity.

It was Friday night and Tobio was half asleep and Shouyou had stopped blinking, all his focus on the romantic comedy playing on the television set.

“She sounds like you when you are around Oikawa-san.”

Tobio lifted his head up, movements hazy.

His eyes took too long to focus, but when they did he jerked up.

The girl on the screen was falling over her own feet, stuttering and fumbling over simple syllables, cheeks every shade of warmth.

Tobio sat up quickly and Shouyou lost balance.

“I-I- I don’t sound like that! Since when? I talk to him properly-”

“No, no, no! You sound like that!”

Tobio blushed red, stuttered over his defense before huffing.

“Shut up.”

Shouyou laughed lightly.

“Why does she sound like that?”

Tobio roughly stood up and Shouyou toppled over with a little whine.

He asked Oikawa and Iwaizumi themselves the next time he visited.

The lounge was quiet, the only sounds echoing around was of the stove bubbling and of Oikawa’s phone.

He was slumped on the couch, glasses crooked and head bent into a strange angle. His phone was almost pressed to his face.

Shouyou ducked down to look at the video Oikawa was watching with such interest.

Then came the question.

“Why is she acting like a fool?”

Oikawa’s response was delayed by a few seconds.

He laughed over the drama series, “she’s in love~”

Shouyou sat on the chair next to the sofa.

“Love?”

Oikawa may have asked why but all Shouyou heard was a grunt.

“How can you be sure how he feels?”

“How can you not?” Oikawa asked after another 3 seconds delay.

Shouyou stopped blinking, stopped breathing- stopped working-

“What’s with that face?” Iwaizumi asked, making his way around the lounge to grab his phone.

“Kageyama is in love with Oikawa-san.”

“What the fuck.”

“Me too,” Shouyou nodded at his reaction.

“What kind of shit are you telling him-?” Iwaizumi’s face grew redder and redder-

“I didn’t say anything. He’s not in love or whatever, don’t get so worked up- why _are_  you so panicky, by the way? Don’t tell me Shou-chan is in love with the moron-” Oikawa’s dramatic gasp broke off into laughter.

“I am not! No, no, no! It is...bad!”

Iwaizumi stared at Shouyou for a while, his hand clenched into a fist and he looked away. 

Oikawa cleared away with unnoticed tension with another laugh.

“He does have a crush on me, I mean, I don’t blame him, look at this face,” Oikawa gestured to his head and Iwaizumi flicked his forehead before walking off.

Shouyou sat quiet, “What is a crush?”

Oikawa craned his neck to look at him, the disbelief was evident in his stare- but he snorted, told Shouyou he was dumb but cute normally- but this is too much.

“Are you from Mars or something?” 

“No, I am from Heaven.”

Oikawa pinched his cheek, dismissed his question and continued with his phone.

“What...what would you do? If Kageyama was in love? With you?” Shouyou asked after a while.

Oikawa’s finger hovered over the pause button.

“What I’ve been doing all this time. Nothing.”

Shouyou squirmed in his seat.

“If he confessed then that’d be another story,” Oikawa continued, turning the volume down.

“What is the story?”

“I’d have to break his heart-”

“You cannot! That is cruel!” Shouyou yelled, eyes wide, lips pressed tight.

Oikawa sat up properly, ready to laugh at how defensive Shouyou was, ready to poke fun- but Shouyou looked serious, eyes the colour of gladiolus, the colour of fierce protection.

So his laugh died down and his face remained calm.

“Honesty is cruel, Sho-chan. It’s not my fault he fell in love, not my fault he’s upset, not my fault if he chooses to stay upset- I can’t love him, Sho-chan, I don’t _like_ him- I don’t even like him as a friend. So whatever,” Oikawa had a steady voice, Shouyou continued to glare.

His eyes started pricking after a while.

“Sh-Sho-chan?”

“You are very, very cruel! Did you know that? Kageyama does not deserve that at all! Why are you so- so- you are a dumbass!” 

Shouyou asked to leave with a voice that sounded of loose leaves midst an Autumn cyclone.

He wore an expression of bitter anger, he was grinding his teeth together, his hands were shaking-

Oikawa froze, eyebrows twitching together, confused and scared.

“Yeah, do you need the key…?”

“Kageyama’s home-” Shouyou left quickly, legs caught between a run and a walk.

“I’m sorry-?”

Shouyou was already gone, thumping on the door next to theirs, Kageyama! Open the- the damn door!

(“What the fuck did you say?” Iwaizumi asked, face caught between a growl and curiosity.

“I didn’t- he didn’t like my answer, or something.”)

Tobio opened the door slowly, movements groggy from his hour long nap- his hair stuck up in all ends and his scowl was fiercer than usual.

“Oikawa-san has the key, you fucking- what.”

Shouyou tackled him into a hug, face buried into his chest and Tobio could feel his teeth. His fingers twisted into the fabric along Tobio’s back and he walked forward, driving the tallest of them back into the apartment.

“What’s wrong? Oi- what-”

Shouyou started shaking and Tobio hurriedly closed the door and dragged him to the couch.

He forced Shouyou to sit down, forced him to let go- tell me what’s wrong, already-

Shouyou shuddered, his shoulders quivering from everything. He let out a yell- an angry yell, and he flipped himself onto Tobio’s lap, arms latching around his neck, face pressed against his chest.

Tobio sighed, “Shouyou. What happened?”

Carefully he placed a hand on his head, fingers nestled in orange waves.

“O-Oikawa- sa-s-” Shouyou choked, clutching at Tobio harder.

Tobio looked at the wall, he refused to look at Shouyou’s gold tears.

The gold watered down the more he cried.

“Oikawa-san? What did he do?” Tobio asked, stiffly running fingers through his hair. He remembered his grandmother comforting him like this when his father died.

He remembered Oikawa doing the same to Iwaizumi when he had a breakdown.

Shouyou eventually did look up, his eyes were puffy, nose bright red.

Mouth dry and wet at the same time.

Cheeks pale yet pink simultaneously.

Face completely and utterly wrecked.

He looked ugly- _should_  look ugly but still Tobio’s heart stuttered.

Found himself studying him in awe because fuck, he was still so goddamn _beautiful._

His heart ached, for Shouyou, damn that Oikawa bastard for making him look like this-

Tobio told him to breathe, breathe slowly, why are you crying?

He felt his hands clench and unclench, felt his own eyes prick too- and he blinked away unreasonable tears.

“O-Oikawa-san...he- he’s mean.”

“What did he do? Did he hurt you? Are you ok? Where does it hurt?”

“He-” 

“He what?”

“He...he does not like you.”

Tobio looked at him, urged him to go on but Shouyou was dry of words.

“He doesn’t like me,” Tobio repeated, “is that why you’re crying?”

Tobio inhaled sharply, taking his silence for a yes.

“What even happened?”

Shouyou fumbled for words and Tobio wiped away gold flakes and tears.

“I asked Oikawa-san what he would do if you told him you loved him-”

“Ok, what the fuck? What? Where did that even- what?”

“We were talking about how you….how you want to...crush him.”

“What.”

“Crush. He said something about crushes.”   
“I don’t want to crush- oh, I- what the fuck- I don’t have a crush on him, that’s ridiculous.”

“He said you did. I do not know what a crush is, so I was confused. I asked him after what he would do if you confessed your love-”

“I don’t even love him.”

Shouyou sniffled.

Tobio’s fingers drifted from Shouyou’s hair to his lap.

“Well, what did he say?”

Tobio’s gaze fell down too, blush already dowsing his face, heart beating too fast.

“He said that he hates you and does not care for you at all and it is not his problem if you are sad about it,” Shouyou replied, eyes leaking again.

Tobio shifted in his seat, sliding down and Shouyou yelped, almost falling.

“And you got sad...for me,” Tobio bit his bottom lip, staring at Shouyou, all his emotions melting into disbelief and amusement.

“Is this sadness?” Shouyou asked.

“How are you feeling right now?”

“Angry! But also not angry. And my heart hurts and my throat hurts and I feel like I am going to explode but I also feel the opposite. I am very unhappy at the moment.”

Tobio stared at him some more, lips pressed tight, eyes softening and hardening into timeless glares.

The silence itched on Shouyou’s nerves and he started fidgeting.

But Tobio shoved his face onto his shoulder, trying to hide his smile.

“Kageyama?”

Tobio stared up at the ceiling, his mouth curling into a full blown grin.

“That’s- you’re so stupid, this is so stupid, I’m not even upset, why the hell are you so- taking things so personally- you’re so-”

Tobio blushed and covered his mouth with a hand.

“So what?”

“Cute. But dumb, you are so, so dumb.”

“I am not dumb! He is dumb for being mean!”

Tobio rolled his eyes.

Shouyou was yelling again, “he should like you! Why does he not like you? Why did he have to be so mean about it-?”

“Ssh, shut up, just- breathe, fucking relax.”

Tobio placed his hands on Shouyou’s shoulders.

“Listen. You’re forgetting that this isn’t Heaven.You’re here on Earth. Where everyone hates at least someone. So Oikawa-san hates me. Ok. But I don’t care and neither should you. He was telling you his honest opinion, right? The truth’s ugly sometimes. So don’t be a little bitch about people disagreeing with you or you’ll never be happy. Whatever, don’t cry, I don’t want to s- no one wants to see you cry.”

Shouyou sniffled quietly, tears dry.

“Stop being a dumbass,” Tobio flicked his forehead gently.

Shouyou grumbled to himself and slumped down, sprawling over Tobio.

Tobio gracelessly shoved him off, muttered something about his idiocy- God, he’s lazy-

He wiped a wet rag over Shouyou’s red face and forced a glass of water into his hands.

Shouyou climbed back into Tobio’s lap after setting the glass down.

“What’s your problem? Fuck off,” Tobio said, half-heartedly, grin playing on his lips.

“Kageyama. You look good when you smile,” Shouyou said.

He wrapped his arms around his neck, settling down comfortably over him and Tobio struggled to breathe.

“I- y- I- no one asked you.”

“Why do you not smile often?”

He thought of his mother, her dangly earrings and the conversations they had.

“Have you ever thought of plastic surgery, Tobio?”

“Plastic- what the hell, Kaa-san?”

“We have loads of money-”

Tobio flinched, thought of his dead father.

“Are you...are- Kaa-san, are you saying I’m...ugly or something?”

He touched his face, subconsciously, touched the creases between his brows that sat there from his permanent frown, touched his too sharp cheekbones and his scowl.

“No! No, no! You’re not- you- where did you get that thought from? Goodness. I’m just saying-”

His mother was an honest woman, perhaps too honest and maybe that was why a lot of people hated her.

A lot of people hated Tobio for the same reasons.

“Your smile is- now I’m saying this so you can improve in the future- your smile is horrifying.”

“Ex- excuse me?” Tobio spluttered.

“You’re not ugly, Tobio, but when you smile-”

She never finished that thought.

“Plastic surgery’s not gonna fix that,” Tobio said.

But he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and he practised smiling.

They were horrifying, every one his attempts ended in a grimace and maybe he was not designed to be happy.

Shouyou’s question remained unanswered so Shouyou continued on.

“You should smile more.”

“Give me a reason to,” Tobio fired back.

“I will try.”

Oikawa apologised in the same hour.

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- to _anger_  Sho-chan-”

“No, it’s fine,” Tobio interrupted, shaking his head. The two were shifting nervously by the door, “he’s just super sensitive….when it comes to me, I guess. You didn’t do anything wrong, not your fault he’s a little bitch.”

Oikawa lolled his head back to snort, “that- that’s cute. He cares about you a lot, huh?”

Tobio shifted his weight to his other leg, “...Yeah.”

“Well tell me when he’s up, I want to apologise in person.”

“Ok.”

Oikawa turned to leave and there was a delay in Tobio’s head.

But Oikawa’s wrist was in his hand and he was staring with questioning eyes.

“I- I- um-” Tobio stuttered, “well, do you really hate me that much?”

“Hate you? I don’t hate you.”

“O-oh. That moron-”

“What did Sho-chan tell you?”

“Uh, you hate me, you don’t care about me and it’s not your problem if I’m sad?” 

Oikawa laughed, “I didn’t say that at all! Good God! It totally went through one ear and came out the other. I don’t hate you, Tobio-chan! You’re my favourite virgin!”

"O-Oikawa-san!"

“That was a lie. Iwa-chan is~!”

“Don’t tell me things I don’t want to know, please.”

"Ah,  you piss me off. I don’t hate you but I don’t particularly like you,” Oikawa clapped a hand over his shoulder, “ok, bye-”

“Wait, wait, I don’t- I don’t know what the hell you two were talking about but I’m not in love with you or anything,” Tobio clarified.

“Yeah, I know? Do you even have feelings, Tobio-chan? Anyways.”

Tobio sighed and made his way to his bedroom, where Shouyou was sound asleep.

He flopped down beside him, closing his eyes, breathing properly for the first time.

He looked over at Shouyou.

His glow was no more, his tears were no longer tinted gold and his wings were no longer stumps.

Carefully, Tobio prodded at his back, trying to feel for anything. 

There was nothing.

Tobio sighed again and continued staring.

Shouyou was no longer an angel, sweets made him sick, the room didn’t light up when he entered, his wings weren’t inconvenient.

Tobio rolled onto his back, wondering how Shouyou still managed to look angelic.

He thought about his day, thought of Shouyou some more, laughed a little, “what a dumbass, crying over someone like me…”

His fist curled into his shirt and he felt his heart swell up with unfiltered affection. He turned to look at Shouyou, wondered if this was a magic trick-

His mother had never cried over him, Tobio noted, neither had his father.

Nor had anyone from elementary, from high school, from his neighbourhood.

He might have squeaked, made some sort of noise- or perhaps he was squirming too much, unable to calm his thudding heart-

“Kageyama? What’s wrong?”

He was up but Tobio was blushing all kinds of red, and he declared he hated Shouyou.

He sat up and declared his hatred again.

“You care for me too much,” Tobio said, “what kind of idiot are you?”

“Huh…?”

“You’re so utterly stupid, you know that? Wasted all those tears- why the hell would you cry over me, huh? That’s so stupid.”

Shouyou rubbed his eyes, and sat up slowly.

“Well, why wouldn’t I?”

Tobio was tackling him and the headboard thumped against the wall.

Shouyou was late to scream but it was muffled in Tobio’s chest anyways.

They both stilled and Shouyou squirmed quietly.

“What are you doing, Kageyama?”

“What does it look like, dumbass? I’m hugging you.”

“This is a- oh.”

Shouyou wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Why?” the redhead asked, trying to breathe through his squashed nose.

“I dunno. I feel like exploding.”

Shouyou gasped, “don’t explode, Kageyama! You’ll die.”

Tobio clicked his tongue and rolled off Shouyou, “so dramatic.”

Shouyou grinned in reply and Tobio felt the room glow bright.

___

 

Oikawa managed to apologise to Shouyou.

They ended up hugging for five minutes straight.

“Man, I wish someone would get so emotional and offended on my behalf like that,” Oikawa daydreamed.

“Iwaizumi-san does that all that time,” Tobio pointed out.

“Hmm, I suppose. It’d be better if he was a cute girl. Anyways, are we all better now, Sho-chan?”

“Yes! We are all better!”

Oikawa tried not to say anything too mean about Tobio around Shouyou until his sharp-tongued habits died down to a slight jab about Tobio’s manners.

Oikawa’s insults seemed to mellow down, even when Shouyou was nowhere near.

Shouyou was sprawled over his chest, head tucked under Tobio’s sharp chin as he stared curiously at his phone.

Tobio wondered if this is what happiness was.


End file.
